Some Useful Key for a Wonderful Day
Yeah, I know this stuff is obvious, but sometimes we need to be reminded of the obvious.We need to be hit in the face with it so we will do something about it.
- Cut the rest of the world some slack I put this number one because I can think of no better way to chill out and enjoy yourself than just giving it a break. Who cares what anyone else is doing or how they are doing it or why they are doing it? I don’t.
- Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself the same break you need to give everyone else. You don’t have to be perfect. The food doesn’t have to be perfect. The place settings don’t have to be perfect. Your house doesn’t have to be spotless. Don’t try to impress yourself or anyone else.
- Take it easy. Don’t hurry or rush. Do everything in a relaxed easy going manner. Don’t tense yourself up no matter what it is your are doing. Athletes that stay relaxed run faster, swim faster, and move with less effort and more grace. There is something wonderful about slowing down and taking it easy. In the words of Foghat – Slow ride, take it easy.
- Do something for the pure enjoyment of it. To some of you this may be a radical concept but give it a try. It doesn’t have to be productive. It doesn’t have to have a pay off at some future time. It doesn’t have to please anyone else. It just has to be fun for you.
- Do something with wonderful people. If you can combine doing something for the pure enjoyment of it with spending time with wonderful people you might just find your little slice of heaven. There is almost nothing better than spending time with wonderful, positive people.
- Play Your Favorite Music. The other night I went to a local bar with some wonderful people for the pure enjoyment of it. We played our favorite music from days gone by. I remember nothing else about that day.
- Turn off the TV and don’t read any news. The odds of being exposed to something that makes you feel good is about 1 in 10.
- Avoid Toxic People. I know sometimes you just can’t, but at least try. If your toxic mother in-law comes over for the holidays, first cut her some slack. Then go somewhere in the house she isn’t. Go to a movie with your sister. You can find some way to avoid toxic people if you try. If you can’t then just pretend like they aren’t even there.
- Eat food you absolutely love. This shouldn’t be difficult this time of year. Take it easy because you just remember the last bite anyway. Don’t stuff yourself or you will find yourself thinking about how bad you feel instead of how good it was. Seriously, you should eat, drink, and be merry!
- Make remembering the wonderful things you did the last thing you do before going to bed.
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How to Boost Your Willpower
When you do what you love to do, you feel as if you could do it all day long. It’s as if doing it takes almost no will power on your part. But unfortunately, the reality is that you’re not going to love doing everything you have to do in life.
For example, I don’t love doing my taxes, eating healthy, or exercising daily. But I know these are things that I have to do. And to do them requires will power on my part. So here are a few things I do to increase my will power for the tasks that seemingly take every last ounce of it:
Use Your Will Power: Think of will power as a muscle. When you
first start lifting weights, lifting 15 pound dumbbells may be exhausting for you. But over time as your muscles grow stronger (and you start lifting heavier weights), you’ll be able to lift those 15 pound dumbbells without even breaking a sweat.
Don’t Overindulge: Have you ever noticed that when you eat too much, drink too much, sleep too much, and have sex too much you end up feeling lazy? This happens because when the brain gets too much dopamine, it releases prolactin to balance things out. And as a result, it makes us dopamine deficient. Symptoms of dopamine deficiency include depression, procrastination and a lack of ambition.
Proper Diet & Exercise: Studies have shown that proper diet and exercise can help reduce stress and depression and it even lifts your mood. Like they say, a healthy body leads to a healthy mind. And you need that to increase your will power.
Break Things Down: Have you ever looked a hill from far away? They always look bigger from a distance. But as you go up step by step, the hill most often isn’t as big as you had originally thought.
The same thing goes for the goals or tasks you wish to accomplish. Looking at what you want to accomplish without breaking it down into small steps can be intimidating. So much so that it can lower your confidence to the point where you decide (before you even try to do it) that you will fail and it would be a waste of your efforts (or your will power).
Realize You Want It: Like I said earlier, there are things we feel like we haveto do that we may not love doing. But if you look at what you have to do at a deeper level, you’ll realize that you actually want to do it. For example, I haveto do my taxes because I want to stay out of trouble. Or I have to exercise and eat healthy because I want to to feel great about myself.
Figure out why you want to do whatever you feel like you have to do, and focus on that instead of complaining about it. When you tell yourself why want to do a thing, you start feeling more motivated to actually do it.
Like I said in the begging of this post, when you do what you love to do you feel as if you could do it all day long using little to no will power. So while you may not love to physically do certain things in life (like taxes and eating salads), realize that you love the result it ultimately will bring you and focus on that.
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13 Tips to Building Self Esteem
“People with high self-esteem are the most desired,and desirable people in society.”
~ Brian Tracy
Can you recall the last time you were in an emotional slump, such that your beliefs in yourself and your abilities were slipping away? How can we maintain the beliefs we have in ourselves, such that we can live with less anxiety and more joy?
Just imagine the things we would accomplish if we had the belief that we could do absolutely anything, especially if we could maintain a level of self-esteem that no circumstance could shake. What would you be doing?
Self-esteem comes from positive self-imaging, and it is something that we proactively build for ourselves. Self-esteem doesn’t happen while we wait passively. When we leave it up to external factors, we build our self-esteem on sandy ground. What we want is a rock-solid foundation, and this only comes from building it within.
Throughout our daily routines, our minds are very good at picking up all the things we’ve done wrong, and it makes sure we are aware of them. With such a counter-productive force at work, we can benefit greatly by regularly working towards establishing and building our own self image.
I’ve learned that the way we view ourselves directly affects everything we do. People with high self-esteem get along easily with others, rarely get sick, and seem to have high energy reserves. Also, their high level of self-esteem corresponds with their high level of productivity, capacity of happiness and state of well-being.
A Closer Look
Self-esteem = how much we like ourselves.
How much we like ourselves = level of self-dominion.
What is self-dominion? It is our ability to get ourselves to actually do, what we want ourselves to do; in other words, self-discipline and self-trust.
A person who has dominion over themselves has self-integrity – staying true to their words and commitments.
Every time we fail to listen to our inner voice, and do not take action in something that we need to, we lose trust with ourselves and our abilities. This lack of self faith continues to spiral downwardly as we flounder to fulfill more commitments.
Turning Point: How to Start Building Self-Esteem
Most of us are familiar with the concept of momentum. When we do something well, regardless of how small the task, we build positive energy and momentum, which can fuel other tasks on our list.
For example, if you have just washed all the dishes, mowed the lawn, and made calls to all of your clients, it will be easier for you – psychologically – to quickly move on to and complete the next task. You will have built the momentum necessary to getting things done, and you are simply riding on that energy and building on previous successes.
On the flip side, when we put off what we want to do or know we should do, we lose momentum, and more importantly, we lose trust in ourselves.
Another way to view this is to pretend we have a personal assistant. The better they perform on the tasks assigned to them, the more confident we will feel towards their abilities to handle responsibility. Gradually, we will assign more important tasks to them as trust is established. We now have faith in their abilities to follow through. We trust them.
Conversely, if our assistant procrastinates and misses deadlines regularly, we will lose faith in their abilities to follow through. We stop trusting them. We stop giving them tasks (at least the important ones), and we start to look for a replacement assistant.
Now, think of ourselves as our own assistant. The more we follow through with actions, the more confidence and trust we’ll establish with ourselves. We will then gain faith in our ability to take on more tasks.
The small wins with ourselves, directly affect how much we like ourselves. Each time we successfully follow through, the experience becomes a building block towards a more positive self image.
13 Tips to Building Self-Esteem
In order to build your self-esteem, you must establish yourself as the master of your own life. Every single minute of your life is a moment you can change for the better.
If you’ve been delaying some action for half the day, don’t dwell on it or beat yourself up for it, shift your focus to the present moment and what you can do rightnow. Start with the smallest or the most important task.
The following are tips to help build continuous upward momentum towards higher self esteem.
1. Start Small
Start with something you can do immediately and easily. When we start with small successes, we build momentum to gain more confidence in our abilities. Each completed task, regardless of how small, is a building block towards a more confident you. What are some small actions you can take immediately to demonstrate that you are capable of achieving goals you’ve set for yourself? For example, clean your desk, organize your papers, or pay all your bills.
2. Create a Compelling Vision
Use the power of your imagination. Create an image of yourself as the confident and self-assured person you aspire to become. When you are this person, how will you feel? How will others perceive you? What does your body language look like? How will you talk? See these clearly in your mind’s eye, with your eyes closed. Feel the feelings, experience being and seeing things from that person’s perspective. Practice doing this for 10 minutes every morning. Put on music in the background that either relaxes you, or excites you. When you are done, write a description of this person and all the attributes you’ve observed.
3. Socialize
Get out of the house or setup a lunch date with a friend. Socializing with others will give us opportunities to connect with other people, and practice our communication and interpersonal skills.
4. Do Something that Scares You
As with all skills, we get better with practice and repetition. The more often we proactively do things that scare us, the less scary these situations will seem, and eventually will be rid of that fear.
5. Do Something You Are Good At
What are you especially good at or enjoy doing? Regularly doing things that you are good at reinforces your belief in your abilities and strengths. I (Tina) can be very efficient with completing errands or administrative work. Whenever I have a few hours filled with ways in which I’ve maximized my time, I feel highly productive and this boosts the confidence have in my abilities as an organized and efficient person.
6. Set Goals
According to a study done at Virginia Tech, 80% of Americans say they don’t have goals. And the people who regularly write down their goals earn nine times as much over their lifetime as people who don’t. By setting goals that are clear and actionable, you have a clear target of where you want to be. When you take action towards that goal, you’ll build more confidence and self-esteem in your abilities to follow through.
7. Help Others Feel Good About Themselves
Help somebody or teach them something. When you help other people feel better about themselves and like themselves more, it will make you feel good about yourself. See what you can do to make others feel good or trigger them to smile. Maybe giving them a genuine compliment, helping them with something or telling them what you admire about them.
8. Get Clarity on Life Areas
Get clarity on the life area that needs the most attention. Your self-esteem is the average of your self-concept in all the major areas of your life. Write down all the major categories of your life, e.g., health, relationships, finance, etc. Then rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 in each area. Work on the lowest numbered category first, unless they are all even. Each area affects the other areas. The more you build up each area of your life, the higher your overall self-esteem.
9. Create a Plan
Having a goal alone won’t do much. Get clarity on your action items. One of the biggest reasons people get lazy is because they don’t have a plan to achieve their goals. They don’t know what the next step is and start to wander off randomly. When you’re baking a cake, it’s a lot easier to follow a set of clear instructions, than randomly throwing ingredients together.
10. Get Motivated
Read something inspirational, listen to something empowering, talk to someone who can uplift our spirits, who can motivate us to become a better person, to live more consciously, and to take proactive steps towards creating a better life for ourselves and our families.
11. Get External Compliments
As funny as this point suggests, go find a friend or family member and ask them “What do you like about me?” “What are my strengths?” or “What do you love about me?” We will often value other people’s opinions more than our own. We are the best at beating ourselves up for things not done well, and we are the worst at recognizing what we’ve done well in. Hearing from another person our strengths and positive qualities helps to build a more positive image of ourselves.
12. Affirmations & Introspection
Use affirmations, but in the right way. Some people think that when they’re in a slump, using positive affirmations will help them get out of it. I love affirmations, but I’ve realized you have to use them in the right way. Sitting on your couch and saying “I am highly motivated and productive” does nothing. Say something like “I am sitting here being very unproductive right now, is this the ideal me? What would be my best self?” Your affirmations have to be the TRUTH. Once you’re honest, take the first step towards doing the thing, no matter how small.
13. No More Comparisons
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Low-self esteem stems from the feeling of being inferior. For example, if you were the only person in the world, do you think you could have low-self esteem? Self-esteem only comes into the picture when there are other people around us and we perceive that we are inferior. Don’t worry about what your neighbor is doing. Accept that it’ll serve you more to just go down your own path at your own pace rather than to compare yourself. Pretend you’re starting over and begin immediately with the smallest step forward.
Self-esteem comes from self-dominion. The more power you have in getting yourself to take the right actions, the more self-esteem you will have. Your level of self-esteem affects your happiness and everything you do.
This excellent article comes from thinksipmplenow
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Tips to Being Courageous
If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right, you’ll probably never do much of anything
Stand Out. Take the hard road and embrace what people may think is impossible. Work overtime to master personal strengths.
Light Up Someone’s Life. Make a connection with someone to help overcome a personal challenge. Show them you care and believe in them.
Jump Right In. While others are standing by watching JUMP in with both feet. Waiting for someone to lay it out for you will result in missed opportunity. JUMP!
Speak For Those Who Can’t. Someone who’s defenseless or just not able to communicate effectively; speak up and speak out they need your help.
Pull Your Head Out Of The Sand. Know what you’re up against. Rank challenges in the order of importance. Begin to work challenges like each challenge was your first job.
Hold Your Head High. Don’t wear your emotions on your sleeve not everyone needs to know you’re going through hard times. Chin Up and keep looking forward.
Accept Your Truth. See it. Believe it. Start accepting your truth for what it is nothing more and nothing less.
Finish Strong. Sprint across the finish line. Give all you got, push harder than you ever have and remember to give nothing less than your best.
Face your fears. Fear creates anxiety which clouds the mind. Take a moment and pin point your fear. Push back, push through, seek positive outcomes and take action.
Explore Real Change. Go places you never been. Do things you’ve never done. Routine is the foundation for stability but also takes you to the same places over and over again. Leave your comfort zone and EXPLORE.
Go Back And Do The Work. No one is perfect and our past has shaped our present. If you want to be confident, brave, loving, charming, bold, talkative, fit, caring, and honest you have to put in the work. Go get your LIFE back.
Focus On Your Next Step. Keep your eye on the present but know the impact of each step. Dare to LIVE with a clear purpose in life.
Stake Your Claim. Fight against the status quo. Step over the imaginary line and see who you will become. What are you passionate about?
Rest If You Must. But never quit. Never give in.
Stay Upbeat. Steer clear of negative influences. Call and hang out with friends who are upbeat, confident, and full of positive energy.
Go BIG or Go Home. Go to the edge with creative and innovative ideas. Find your passion and develop it by any means necessary.
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How to Use Your Subconscious to Change Your Life
“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.” – Thomas Edison
Your subconscious loves to do work while your body performs other tasks that are easy. I can prove this very easily by asking you how many good ideas you have had while driving or in the shower. When you are relaxed yet slightly distracted, your mind is often at its best.
Using subconscious requests will…
Improve your motivation.
Help you become happier.
Increase your emotional intelligence.
You’ll see improvement in less than a month.
My last request was…
“Please give me more patience when commuting to work and allow me to even enjoy my time in the car.”
Within a month I was enjoying my ride to work.
My latest request is…
“Let’s find creative ways to grow my blog.”
I took this approach because it’s going to take a request to my subconscious and action in my waking life to make this happen. This request is only a few days old, but it’s already working. Instead of just asking people to help vote for my blog on social sites that rate articles such as Stumble Upon and Digg, I’ve change my communication. I now friend someone, give a compliment (only if they are worthy) and tell them that they ever need any help to shoot me a message. They are much more willing to help me out.
Mindset
My mindset is changing by setting my subconscious on a certain issue. I start to see new angles that I’ve never seen before. This subconscious request works for personal issues as well as work related concerns.
The 3 step request only takes five minutes:
Step 1: Before you turn out the light, close your eyes and take one minute to make a request to your subconscious. It can be anything. I would start small and make it open ended. I wouldn’t request to be an astronaut by the end of the month. Your subconscious is good, but not that good.
Step 2: Take two minutes to visualize yourself actually able to do this thing. Whether it is getting the motivation to jog before work or eating a healthy snack, you must visualize yourself doing the request that you asked your subconscious. Let’s say you want to jog before work: imagine yourself getting up a few minutes earlier than usual, putting on your exercise clothes and jogging shoes, and heading out into the crisp air. Then you start jogging, watching the sun rise over the buildings, the birds chirping, and you are feeling good.
Step 3: Take two minutes to imagine the feeling that will occur when you are able to accomplish this new thing. How do you feel when you walk back in your front door after a morning jog? Energized? Whatever feeling you want to achieves imagine that you have already created this emotion inside of yourself. Let it sink in, then go to sleep and let your subconscious do the rest of the work.
Your subconscious mind wants to help you improve your life; you just have to trust its vast resources and allow it to do its thing.
Action Makes Your Request Real
You may not want to go jogging after the first subconscious request, but try to visualize yourself going through the motions the first couple of weeks. Then just start putting on your exercise gear and go for a five minute walk. Taking these baby steps will set you up for your jogging routine. Then after a few weeks just go for it. Now that you have your emotions geared toward jogging it should spur you into action.
By allowing the emotional momentum to build, you can create motivation that will help you accomplish things that make you happier.
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Are You Failure..?
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost
almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the
game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over
and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
- Michael Jordan
Are you scared of failure?
Are you scared of not succeeding or being rejected or being
humiliated? You are not alone. Millions of people around the globe are scared of failure. They fear failure. Fear of failure will hold you back from going after your dreams, from taking action to pursue the life you really want and to turn that dream into reality.
But what if I told you that failure is the only way to growth and success? What if I told you that failure is absolutely necessary in order to become good at something. What if I told you that failure is good, and failure is exactly what you need in your life in order for you to succeed?
Take a look at the Michael Jordan quote at the beginning of this chapter. If you know me and have been following my blog then you will know that this is one of my favorite quotes in the world. I share it with as many people as I can, every chance I get.
I would like to say all (but I am sure there are exceptions) successful people have failed at what they do many more times than the average person.
★ The master baker has created many failed breads and
cakes before he got to where he is.
★ Tiger Woods has hit thousands of failed shots before he
got as good as he is now.
★ Guys who are good at picking up girls have failed tens if
not hundreds of times at picking up girls.
★ Great designers have created loads of failed, ugly and
horrible designs before they got to be as good as they are now.
And so on and so forth. It is impossible to become good at something without failure. Well…failing. That’s not a nice word. Let me clarify how I see ‘failure’ and what I mean by it. I believe that you only ever truly fail when you give up. All other ‘failures’ on your journey to success are merely setbacks and lessons to learn from. To take Michael Jordan as an example. When he misses the game-winning shot, it is a failure. Not a permanent failure, because he doesn’t give up and he will keep going. That failure of missing the game-winning shot is a setback and a lesson that he can learn from in order to come closer to his goal of success (whatever his personal definition of success may be).
Failure Is Necessary for Success I can’t tell you how many times I’ve failed at something. I’ve failed dozens of times if not more at all areas where I am now good at. In order to get good with girls, I’ve been rejected dozens of times. In order to be able to cook good meals, I’ve cooked loads of flopped concoctions. In order to be good at fixing things, I’ve broken them more often that I’ve fixed them. The point that I am trying to bring across is that you should not see something as a failure even when it seems that way. It is merely a setback, a lesson to learn from. A classic example: failing a test. Just because you failed the test and got below acceptable grades, it does not mean that you are a failure. The failed test is a setback and you need to learn from it. Why did you fail? Did you study enough? Go out and do it again, and this time do it better. The more you fail at something, the better you will become if you do not give up before you become good. (one of the reasons being that you have seen so many different things that can go wrong, that you know what to do in each scenario should it present itself again). Failure Is Not Always Easy To Accept Even when you have the mindset of failure just being a setback, sometimes it can be really hard to accept and deal with failure.
Sometimes you try so hard, and it seems like you give it everything you have…and it still doesn’t work. Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do, it’s never going to work. Sometimes you will fail at something for weeks, months or even years before you finally get it right. The man who invented the vacuum cleaner for instance spent 5 years working on his invention. He built hundreds of prototypes that didn’t work. Nobody believed in him and they thought he was stupid for continuing to work on his idea. Today, I think every modern household has a vacuum cleaner. I know what it feels like that something you are working on is never going to work. There have been areas in my life that I wanted to get better at but it just didn’t work. I’ve been very demoted, quit for a few days at a time, got angry, burst out in tears, looked for answers but always carried on trying to get better. Some things took me 4 years to finally start getting the results I wanted. If I had quit during those difficult times, I would never have been able to experience success in those areas. The best advice I can give to you regarding failure is that failure is necessary to achieve success. Don’t see failure as something bad or permanent. Instead, see failure as a temporary setback and a lesson to learn from in order to do it better the next time. Be aware of the fact that you may fail at something for a very long time, sometimes longer than you can handle. Never give up!! Just keep at it, but learn from your mistakes. If something does not work when you do it a certain way,
try to approach it from a different angle. See if it works better with a different tool or method.
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Sometimes People
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be (possibly your roommate, neighbour, co-worker, longest friend, lover, or even a complete stranger) but when you lock eyes with them, you know at that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints in our hearts,
and We are never, ever the same.
And sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realised your potential, strength, willpower, or heart. Everything happens for a reason, nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness, and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, whatever they may be, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight flat road to nowhere. It would be safe and comfortable, but dull and utterly pointless. The people you meet who affect your life, and the success and downfalls you experience help to create who you become.
Even the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact, they are probably the most poignant and important ones.
If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them, for they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious when you open your heart. If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because in a way, they are teaching you to love and how to open your heart and eyes to things.
Make every day count!! Appreciate every moment and take from those moments everything that you possibly can for you may never be able to experience it again. Talk to people that you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don’t believe in yourself; it will be hard for others to believe in you.
You can make of your life anything you wish. Create your own life then go out and live it with absolutely no regrets.
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Tips to Boost Your Confidence Quickly
- Ask yourself, “What’s the worst that could happen?” Too often, we place excess importance on potential problems. We all have a certain amount of energy so let’s apply it to creating extraordinary relationships, advancing our careers and meeting our goals INSTEAD of wasting that energy worrying. Take action on what you have control over and minimize risks for what you don’t. Then invest your energy wisely.
- In doing something for the first time, imagine that you have already done it in the past. Close your eyes, then vividly imagine you succeeding wildly at what you are really going to do for the first time. The mind does NOT know the difference between something VIVIDLY imagined and something real. Make it vivid by involving all 5 senses.
- Find someone who is already confident in that area and copy them. Model as many of their behaviors, attitudes, values, and beliefs for the context you want to be confident in as you can. How can you do this? Talk with them if you have access to them. If you don’t have access to them, get as much exposure to them as you can. This could be talking to people who know the person and/or buying their products if they have some.
- Use the “as-if” frame. I literally love this frame of mind. If you were confident, how would you be acting? How would you be moving? How would you be speaking? What would you be thinking? What would you tell yourself inside? By asking yourself these questions, you are literally forced to answer them by going into a confident state. You will then be acting “as-if” you are confident. Now just forget you are acting long enough and pretty soon you’ll develop it into a habit.
- Go into the future and ask if what you’re faced with is such a big deal. This might be a bit morbid and yet this works tremendously well. Imagine yourself on your deathbed looking back over your life. You are surrounded by your friends and family. You’re reviewing your life. Is what you’re faced with now even going to pop up? That’s highly unlikely. Keeping things in proper perspective really diminishes fear.
- Remember that you lose out on 100% of the opportunities that you never go for. To get what you want, ask for it. I fully believe that if I ask enough people for whatever I want, I can get it. This is not necessarily true and yet it’s a useful belief. As you think about your goals and what you are striving for, how effective would it be for you to believe that all the people out there want to help you if you only ask? Whether that is true or not in the “real world” does not matter. If you find that belief empowering, I invite you to adopt it as your own.
- Disarm the nagging, negative internal voice. That negative internal voice can keep anyone stopped. To disarm the internal voice, imagine a volume control and lower the volume. Or how about changing the internal voice to Mickey Mouse? Do you think you could take Mickey Mouse seriously if he were criticizing you? Change the voice to a clown voice. The point is to disarm the voice by altering the way it nags at you. If I hear my own voice nagging me, it stops me. If I hear a clown voice, I laugh and continue onward.
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4 Light Ways to Keep Your Promises
Building trust based relationships, either professional or personal, is a really big thing. It can propel your career or your life if you can do it, and it can sink them if you can’t. I believe that one of the most important ingredients for building these kinds of relationships is keeping your promises.
When you consistently keep you promises, you essentially align what you say you will do with what you truly do, and people know that they can rely on you. This is of course, easier said than done. Here are some of they key points I discovered can help you visibly improve the rate of promises you keep.
1. Acknowledge your slip-ups in this area.
Counter-intuitively, most people often break their promises because they believe they are very good at keeping their promises. This inaccurate self-image creates a huge blind spot, which does not allow them to notice the situations when they don’t keep their promises, so they can’t really address them.
This is why a good starting point is to assume that you often break you promises, and to start consciously looking at they way you relate to other people, to notice when this is the case. As you start looking for these slipups, you will start to see them. Getting awareness about when they manifest, with whom, is the first big step in getting rid of them.
2. Think twice before you promise.
It’s funny how a lot of people have problems related to lack of self-confidence, but when in comes to making promises, they have the opposite kind: they’re over-confident in what they can do, and they promise too much. Braking promises is usually not the result of bad intent; it is the result of this.
It’s very important that you realize you have limited time, energy, skills and resources, and as much as you would like to, you probably can’t do it all. Keep this in mind every time you’re getting ready to promise something, and ask yourself: “Can I really keep this promise I want to make?” If the answer is not a definite “yes”, then don’t make that promise. Instead, promise something less, something different, or don’t promise at all.
3. Learn to say no.
One thing I’ve realized is that often, we sort of trap ourselves into promising more than we can or we want to do, because we have a problem with saying no. Someone asks us for some help, we know they have high expectations of us, and we just can’t make ourselves emotionally to betray those expectations, by saying no.
To get this handled, there is a very important mental leap you must take: to realize that you can’t and you don’t have to please everybody. When you fully embrace this idea, you feel more freedom to not live to everybody’s expectations, and to not be there for everybody. Which makes it easier for you to resist from making promises you can’t or don’t want to fulfill.
4. Make slipups meaningful for you.
When people break a promise, even if they do realize this, they often quickly forget about it and as a result, this experience does nothing to enforce their tendency to keep promises. It’s easy to keep saying one thing and doing another, when your mind thinks it’s no problem.
This is the reason why if you want to drastically increase you promise keeping rate, you need to change this thinking. You need to make slipups a visible moral mistake in your head, which you completely acknowledge, to yourself and others involved. And to do this, you make integrity and keeping your promises a top value for yourself. You decide it to be very important for you.
Keeping promises and having integrity sound like things which are easy to master. But they are actually some of the hardest people skills to master. As you consciously and systemically work at improving your promise keeping skills, you will see some impressive changes in the quality of your relationships.
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Heart to Heart Conversations
When was the last time you connected with a friend or family member through means of authentic conversation?
I’m not talking about superficial chatter consisting of gossip and politics; I’m talking about genuine heart to heart conversation.
I’m guessing it has been a while.
Think about it. The majority of our conversations are meaningless, adding no value to our daily lives.
We talk about the newest music video, the latest politician to be involved in a scandal, and of course how the world is going to come to an end. But what we fail to do is talk about what really matters, our dreams, our aspirations, and our beliefs.
I’m not suggesting I never partake in lower level conversation. I love hearing about the latest pop diva just as much as you do. Nonetheless, I am greatly concerned at the lack of sincere conversation taking place.
Deep conversations are slowly on the decline. We have instead chosen to find entertainment from other means. As a result our beliefs remain confined to ourselves.
Society has taught us to put up our shields and lay low, to keep our opinions and beliefs to ourselves, but in doing so we are starving our soul.
We need to be heard.
Growing up I was never much of a talker, however as I have matured things have begun to change. I have become enamored with numerous questions about humanity. I might never have all the answers but I’m sure as hell going to try.
What drives people? What do people really believe? Why do people believe what they do?
I have found conversation to be a wonderful place to start in my quest.
There’s something about having deep conversations that satisfies my soul. There’s something about those conversations that go past our outer shields and dive deep into the vulnerable beings we are.
One of the reasons I enjoy heartfelt conversation is that I love immersing myself in different perspectives and beliefs. I love having my beliefs challenged because that causes me to reevaluate what I believe on a regular basis. As a result I regularly can the beliefs that do not resonate with me and am left with only beliefs that truly empower my passion and purpose.
Conversation allows me to know who people really are, instead of the person they pretend to be.
Our society as a whole tends to be very close-minded. Close mindedness is a terrible disease. Deep conversation is the cure. It’s only a matter of time before “deep conversation” begins selling in the pill form. Ask your doctor about it today.
One subject I particularly enjoy discussing is religion. I have been raised Catholic but over the years have developed a more holistic approach to religion. This path is what feels right for me. I look at world religions as a source of personal empowerment. I don’t subscribe to any particular one. From my perspective all religions have many empowering components.
Just the other day my friend Victor and I discussed religion for a solid hour. I have tremendous respect for Victor because although his parents moved back to the states he continues to go church even though he has no one telling him to. Now I’m not suggesting everyone only goes to church because they “have to”, I simply find Victor’s particular situation inspiring. I found our conversation to be immensely rewarding. It’s always interesting to hear someone else’s perspective on how the human race originated. While we didn’t agree on everything, I found many of his beliefs to be somewhat similar to mine. Perhaps it was because I was raised Catholic. Talking with Victor solidified my brotherly bond with him.
Another night I again discussed religion with my friend Sara, who happens to be of the Mormon faith. I again found this conversation to be greatly satisfying for I did not know much about the beliefs of Mormon’s. I have had several deep conversations with Sara each time becoming further immersed in different point of views. Once more, not all of her beliefs particularly resonated with me, as I’m sure not all of mine resonated with her, nonetheless I learned a great deal about her religion and further enhanced my knowledge of religion.
Deep conversation can often be difficult. Sometimes individuals reject true conversation from taking place, by rejecting beliefs that are not congruent with theirs, making it impossible for true conversation to take place. I find it rather difficult to talk to several of my classmates about religion because they refuse to accept any belief other than their own. While I can be somewhat close-minded at times, I take particular pride in looking at life from a variety of angles. I have found conversation to be a wonderful source of lens in which I can view the world. While some people aren’t open-minded this is perfectly valid.
From my personal experience I have found deep conversation to be a wonderful way to connect. It may take a while before you are fully comfortable with being completely open about your own beliefs but once you get over that initial resistance conversation is a extraordinary way to reach your highest potential.
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You Should Have 5 Keys to Successful Living
Today I want to talk about five keys that will help you live a successful life. These are five keys that I’ve learned over the years from studying successful people. These lessons separate those who succeed from those who fail.
We’re all capable of greatness; however, we’re all not willing to reach for it. This article contains some of the keys that will help you reach for greatness. If you follow these keys, I believe your life will begin to change.
5 Keys to Successful Living:
- Discover why you were created
Everything created solves a problem, my eyes see, my ears hear, my nose smells. Doctors solve medical problems, lawyers solve legal problems, mothers solve emotional problems. You were created to solve a problem, and your success in life is dependent on your ability to find that problem and solve it.
You see, you will only be rewarded in this life for the problems that you solve for other people, so it’s imperative that you find the problem you solve best, and solve it.
- Commit to be a Success
Success begins with a decision! Success does not start when you buy your first Rolls Royce, or your first BMW.
Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal! Success is being all that “you” are capable of being. Success is being your best, giving your best, and living your best.
Anyone can be a success, because anyone can decide to be successful, anyone can decide to give their best.
- Have Faith in Your Possibilities
If you don’t believe you’re going to succeed, then …you’re probably right. Faith in your possibilities is what gives you the strength to do the impossible.
If you don’t believe you will succeed, why should anyone else? Why would anyone support you, if you’re convinced that your ship is sinking? Work on your faith; learn to believe in the possibilities that lie ahead of you.
There’s nothing you can’t do!
- Keep Your Life in Balance
What good is it to be wealthy and have no one to share your wealth with? And it’s certainly not ideal to have people you love, who you can’t afford to give anything to. Love finds its greatest expression in giving.
Work to keep your life in balance, you can have your cake and eat it to, but you have to plan for it. Create a daily plan that allows you to be healthy, happy, wealthy, wise, and successful. Never become so consumed with one area of your life that you let the others slip; labor to live a balanced life.
- 5. Help Others
To have “small” success, help a small number of people. To have great success, you must help a great number of people. Your success is dependent on your ability to help others. Bill Gates has helped billions of people with his software and operating systems, so he has billions of dollars. Michael Jordan has entertained millions of people, which is why he has millions of dollars. To the degree that you help others will be to the degree that you succeed.
In Summary
It’s important to discover why you were created, this is critical; secondly you must commit to be a success.
Additionally, you must have faith in your possibilities, without this, you have no hope.
You must also keep your life in balance, and last, but certainly not least, you must help others. …And you help others, not so that you can succeed, you help others because you were created to help others, and if you help enough people, the success that is your birthright will be yours.
Thank you for reading and be sure to pass this article along.
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Makes A Relationship Great
Why are some couples happier than others? What is the “secret” for a great relationship? With certain couples it is clear there is something about the way they interact that makes it obvious they have a unique and genuine connection.
Even if you’re in a good relationship, you can’t help but wonder: What do they know that I don’t? And if you’re single, you might look at these couples and attribute it all to chemistry or destiny. But it turns out that people in great relationships live by a few basic rules and they make these rules a priority in their day-to-day lives together. Consider these habits that can help you create a strong, nurturing relationship.
- Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
- Great relationships take work and thoughtfulness every day
- Great relationships need communication know-how
- Great relationships turn negatives into positives
Great relationships are based on realistic expectations
Forget what you see in the movies or on television. In other words, real relationships aren’t anything like what you see in the movies full of non-stop romance, candlelight dinners and whirlwind trips to exotic locations.
Real relationships take effort, time and commitment. Great relationships just don’t happen because two people love each very much, great relationships happen because not only do two people love each other very much, they also value one another and are willing to make an investment of time into the relationship – day after day.
Couples in healthy and positive relationships have a fundamental understanding of the proper and appropriate expectations for a stable and long-lasting relationship. They understand that not all days will be full or passion and romance. Similarly, they understand that rough spots in a relationship may only be temporary if good communication is present to work through these times.
A good way to look at this is to consider not getting too excited with the very high “highs” or too concerned with the very low “lows.” Both are momentary at best, and will not define the true nature and scope of the relationship over a long period of time. By reframing these extremes, you will be left with the right measure of balance and the right set of expectations to build a quality and sustainable relationship for many years to come.
Great relationships take work and thoughtfulness every day
People who are in successful relationships work on these partnerships regularly. They don’t just set their life on cruise control expecting things to be great all of the time. Ask yourself, “What can I do today to make my partner’s life better?” Little bits of effort every day will accumulate over time and make a big difference.
Think of small, specific ways to make your relationship better whether it’s picking up your loved one’s dry cleaning, telling your partner that you’re proud of him or her, or taking over a task he or she really doesn’t like to do.
You should make an effort every day to deposit at least one act of thoughtfulness into your relationship’s bank account. Your goal, however, should not be to make a huge withdrawal at the end of the week. Your only goal should be to keep giving the things your mate wants – either his or her expressed and unexpressed wants. If there are actions you can take to make your partner’s day more convenient and less stressful, then do them. But, again, don’t do them for what you could gain by providing them.
Great relationships need communication know-how
It may look as if people in great relationships intuitively know what their partners need. But the truth is, no one is a mind-reader so don’t expect your partner to be able to figure out how you’re feeling.
When things aren’t perfectly in sync, couples in this kind of relationship know how to communicate. They know that instead of giving their partner a laundry list of what he or she is doing wrong, they can be specific about what it is that they want. They also make an effort to discover what their partner’s needs are. The best way for most people to do this is talk about it.
Ask your partner what things are really important to him or her. Does he want to know you’re proud of him? Does she need to be able to express her sadness over a family or work-related situation without hearing how she ought to handle it?
Too often we get into the habit of coaching and not listening. The best way to let your partner know you are listening is to ask how she or he “feels” about the situation. Once they begin sharing, your job is simply to shut-up and listen. Offer acknowledgments and affirmations from time-to-time to demonstrate you are engaged with what is being said. Only give your opinion or advice if asked.
Great relationships turn negatives into positives
You may have heard the expression: “When you are given lemons – make lemonade.” Overtime, relationships are handed several lemons. The sources for negative feelings and unbalance are numerous. Some are directly caused between both people because of poor or missing communication. Indirect sources of anxiety in a relationship can be work- related or financially based.
When the interpersonal aspect of the relationship is creating the negativity, consider this simple exercise. First, you and your partner must be open to honest feedback. Next, ask your partner this question: “On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate our relationship (keep in mind the word “relationship” can be substituted for intimacy; support of one another, etc.).
Allow your partner time to reflect and provide an honest reply. If the answer is “Seven,” ask this follow-up question: “What are three things I can do to get our relationship to a ten (if the answer is “six,” you would ask for four things, etc.)? Again, give your partner time to consider their response. It may be hard to listen, because the answers may sound critical and negative. But really, the answers are solutions to turn the negatives into positives.
There is one more critical part of this exercise. After your partner is finished and you have taken in and acknowledged the areas for improvement, ask this question: “What are three (or whatever the number needs to be) things you can do to get our relationship to a ten?”
By asking this follow-up question, it’s putting the relationship back on equal footing and back into the spirit of a true partnership. Except for certain extreme and unfortunate examples, most relationships are successful, or not successful, because of the contributions and efforts of both. Take an honest look at how you are contributing to any negative circumstances, but also be aware it does take two to make it work and to create a more positive and healthy relationship.
When lemons drop from the trees, but you and your partner were expecting apples, begin to make lemonade by creating an action list of what you both can do to get apples next time.
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Rules for Better Physique
1. Use compound lifts: Utilizing multi-joint movements such as bench presses, pull-ups, rows, shoulder presses, squats and leg presses in your routines will ensure you are hitting more than one muscle with maximum weight. This will help you become efficient in the gym.
2. Rest between one to two minutes between sets: This will allow you to maximize not only your time but also the pump by keeping your muscles filled with blood and properly warm during the workout.
3. Use a weight you can handle: Be sure you are using a weight you have control of. Do not load the bar with so much weight that your training partner is helping on the first rep.
4. Use proper form: Make sure to use good form for each lift not only for safety but for function of your training. If you just throw the weights around you will not target the specific muscle.
5. For the majority of the time use a rep range of 6 to 12: This is the range typically used if muscle mass is what you are after, but strength will come also.
6. Try low reps occasionally: Every now and then try a rep range of 4 to 6 or maybe even throw some singles, doubles and triples in there to mix things up. But remember to use good form.
7. Try high reps occasionally: High reps can sometimes kick-start a lagging body part. Maybe try a high rep set or two at the end of a series of sets. Go as high as 20, 30, or even 50!
8. Train more frequently: For about four weeks or so train each body part twice per week instead of the usual once. You may need to reduce the volume a little but the change will be welcomed.
9. Train less frequently: The same holds true for those training each body part twice per week. Cut back to once per week every now and then and double up on your volume.
10. Try doing drop sets for stubborn body parts: Sometimes all you need is a kick in a certain area’s butt to get things going again. Use this technique on the last one or two sets of a movement. Perform a set as you would normally do it, then strip some weight off and continue with your reps and you can strip the weight several times before the muscle is toast!
11. Use antagonistic supersets: This is the old technique Arnold used quite often. Superset chest with back, triceps with biceps, and quadriceps with hamstrings. For example; perform a set of bench presses and then without rest move over to pull-ups for a set. Alternate like this until you have completed all of your sets. You will not only save time but you will have a skin-tearing pump!
12. Once per month do an all negative workout: Reap the benefit of this intense technique by utilizing safe, but effective negative training. Have your partner help you up with a weight you cannot normally do for many reps then lower the weight slowly to resist the negative motion. Make sure to use a spotter, but if none is available use unilateral movements such as one-arm preacher curls, one-legged leg press and machine shoulder presses.
13. Rest/pause for the big lifts: This technique is great for the “big lifts” such as bench presses (all angles), leg presses, shoulder presses, and arm curls. Load a bar with a little more weight than you can handle for your normal rep range. Perform a set of 2 to 4 reps then rack the weight for 5 to 15 seconds. Perform 2 to 4 more reps and rack it again. Once more and you are done. One or two series like this is all you need for a particular movement. A smith machine can be your best friend at times like this.
14. Use forced reps sparingly: It is fine to use forced reps on the last couple of reps of your last set, but try not to attempt them on every single set for countless reps. Lift a weight you can handle with good form then after you have met failure have your partner help a little with one or two more reps.
15. Blast through weak points with compound supersets: A compound superset is when two sets are done back to back with different movements but for the same body part. This is a brutal way to “wake up” more muscle fibers to get it to react.
16. Use these intensity techniques sparingly: The last thing you want to do is run into the overtraining state. Use them once per week and one at a time.
17. Hydrate: Drink plenty of water while you train. We lose an enormous amount of fluid during training and it must be replaced if building a better physique is our goal.
18. Set a time limit: Some days you may feel like you drag in the gym. Try to get your whole workout in say an hour. This will prevent you from too much lag time and more productivity while training.
19. Simplify: If you find yourself using every technique in the book, scale back and do straight sets of compound lifts keeping it simple for a few weeks.
20. Take off: Sometimes what everyone needs is a little well-deserved rest away from the gym to help recharge our “batteries.” After a few days away you will be ready to get back at it with a brand new attitude and muscle pump!
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15 Voiceless Mistakes Peoples Make in Relationships
One of my friends recently asked his girlfriend, “What’s one dumb thing I do in the relationship?” She looked at him in shock, “Where do I begin? If it has to be one, I’d just say you can be a real ****.” “What! How dare you. Now it’s my turn,” he replied. A dam wall of topics the couple needed to talk about freely gushed into the open. An hour later they finished talking.
We make many dumb relationship mistakes, which I have noticed after years of study and observing communication and human behavior, that all cannot be listed here. I use the term “dumb” not to put people down, but only because a lot of people repeat the same blunders. Put an end to these 15 relationship mistakes, in no particular order:
1. Withhold Feelings
Men are more guilty than women in withholding feelings from their partner. If something ticks men off, they may hide their irritation instead of revealing what it is that annoyed them. Women are indirectly guilty of this relationship mistake. While women are more emotional than men, they withhold feelings in the sense that they blame or criticize others to indirectly express their emotions. “I hate you for…!” is not an example of expressing your feelings. An expression of emotion is, “I feel sad about…” “I’m feeling happy you…” “I am angry!”
2. Reject Emotions
We may withhold feelings from someone because we reject our emotions. It is uncomfortable for most people to feel guilt, shame, anger, sadness, and even love so they reject these emotions by thinking positively or generally suppressing them. You feel whatever you do for a reason – accept it. Your relationships deteriorate if you suppress anger, for example, because you will resent and behave bitterly with people.
3. Blame
The failure to healthily express emotion can show itself through blame, a common relationship mistake. Look at an argumentative couple to see each person blaming the other for relationship problems. Neither acknowledges imperfection, preferring to be right. Each person thinks people ought to change instead of taking the responsibility for self-change. Victimization is a relationship mistake unhealthy for either person.
4. Gossip
People gossip about their relationships mainly for self-pity. They seek validation that the other person is to blame for relationship problems. If you have a relationship problem, talk with the person you share the problem with and stop complaining about it to your friends or coworkers. The other person is not the cause of your suffering; you are because of your ignorance to the problem through gossip. If a gossiper just turns the mirror on himself, he would realize the rumors hurt his relationships. A gossiper is no better than the originator of the problem. Neither roles create resolution – both compound it.
5. Interpret Behaviors Negatively
“Give people a margin-for-error because you don’t know every detail.”
A gossiper is one example of a person that blames others and interprets their behaviors in a negative light. Each little behavior signals a conspiracy against the cynic. If you think your husband is having an affair, anything he does will be filtered through that perspective.
Give people a margin-for-error because you don’t know every detail. Each of us hold a piece of truth discoverable through communication. The best way to resolve your worries is to ask the person by showing interest in their life.
6. Show A Lack of Interest
Do you know what happened to your partner today? When was the last time you watched a friend play their weekly sport? When did you last ask what someone did at work? Get curious about people’s lives by asking a lot of questions and displaying attentive body language. Communication often lacks in relationships because neither person takes the initiative to learn about the other person. Interest in people’s lives makes them feel important, builds the relationship, and teaches you a lot of great stuff in the process. Think of something a person important to you enjoys then go do it with them. You may even want to take up a new hobby together like dancing or yoga.
7. Exert Excessive Control
We hate being controlled and told what to do. The worst managers micro-manage, dictating employee behavior. Many angry employees echo similar remarks.
The greatest leaders give team members freedom. The same is true in families and interpersonal relationships. If you order your teenage daughter to not smoke, research shows she is more likely to smoke. One study that looked at how values transmit through families found that children with authoritative parents have different values to them. When the parents are supportive rather than restrictive, the children agree and accept similar values.
8. Try to Change People
Whenever we try to change people, whether it be through manipulation, criticism, orders, threats, or rewards, they take on strange behavior. Do a test in a safe environment. Intentionally tell someone what they are doing is wrong and the person could not change, become suddenly quiet, resent you, gossip about you, or purposefully do what you said not to do. We always try to change people, but rarely succeed.
9. Remain Unchanged
We expect people to change while we remain unchanged. Rigid perspectives on money, family, work, emotion, and the relationship creates severe friction that can destroy a relationship. “If my coworker stopped…then I’d be able to…” “If my son stopped…then I could…” “My partner should…then I’d feel…” I’ll give you an if-statement to remember: if you don’t change, you have no right to expect people to change.
10. Keep One’s Point of View
“It is logically and mathematically irrational to conclude one can be right 95% of the time.”
What is your honest estimate of the percentage you think you are right in an argument? 80? 90? 100%? I estimate most people say 95%. That means a fighting couple’s righteousness totals 190%, a formula for conflict. It is logically and mathematically irrational to conclude one can be right 95% of the time. We are not divine beings knowing of truth.
Each of us possess the truth that we must be flexible enough to explore. The cure to any couple’s problem is held by each person because their point of view is 50% of the relationship.
11. Deny Flaws to Show Perfection
Because we don’t change and like to keep our original point of view, we deny flaws and show perfection. When a mistake arises, we freeze about being found out. A simple sit-down discussion where the two of you each admit three flaws about yourselves helps keep destructive perfection at bay while encouraging growth. You do not fear imperfection when mistakes are encouraged to surface.
12. Absence of Admiration
Relationships are easy to take for granted. We devalue what we have while desiring what is out of our reach. Put some effort into the relationship. You can show people you value the relationship with them through admiration. Give a compliment. Send a gift. Thank someone for a task they did. Phone one person now and thank them for something specific.
13. Be Judgmental
We love to judge people. As described in my Communication Secrets of Powerful People book, there are four judgments: criticism, labeling, diagnosing, and praising. We criticize (“You are no good at helping me”), label (“You are a jerk”), diagnose (“Stop being rude because you don’t get what you want”), and praise (“You are the sweetest person for doing that”). Each judgment has its own problems too deep to described in this article.
14. Send Solutions
It is counterintuitive that solutions kill relationships. After all, don’t solutions cure problems? More often than not in relationships, solutions create problems. We feel inferior being controlled and the problem-solver often overlooks the real issue. Solutions are usually manifestations of other dumb relationship mistakes like blame, gossip, trying to change people, and sticking to one’s point of view.
15. Avoid Concerns
The most frequent dumb mistake people make in a relationship is avoiding their partner’s concerns. Look at any bad relationship and each person will tell you their needs are not being met. They are not being listened to, understood, cared for, loved, whatever. Good communication is the key to overcoming these problems and meeting each other’s needs.
There you have 15 mistakes people frequently make in their relationships. Follow this advice then hopefully the next time you ask someone what one mistake you do in the relationship, no walls break because walls are nonexistent.
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- I love you. Now, change! (psychology911.wordpress.com)
The Ways to Live Life Fullest
It’s not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.
What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
- Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren’t already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone — it doesn’t have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.
- Get outside. Don’t let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it’s raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.
- Savor food. Don’t just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.
- Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.
- Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you’ve liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?
- Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).
- Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.
- Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don’t waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It’s worth it.
- Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don’t know what to do? Read further.
- Pull away from Internet. You’re reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.
- Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you’re older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don’t check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.
- Rediscover what’s important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that’s important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.
- Eliminate everything else. What’s going on in your life that’s not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what’s important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that’s not on your short list, or minimizing it.
- Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you’ll love it. And life will be more alive.
- Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can’t do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!
- Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.
- Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.
- Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.
- When you suffer, suffer. Life isn’t all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life — really feel the pain. And when you’re done, move on, and find joy.
- Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It’s not healthy, and it’s not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly — everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail’s pace.
- Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.
- Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.
- Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.
- Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society — take advantage of their existence while they’re still around.
- Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still — not because you’re so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve — if only because the process of improvement is life itself.
- Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.
- Take mini-retirements. Don’t leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you’re young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.
- Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.
- Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.
- Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.
- Stop reading magazines. They’re basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.
- Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.
- Stop watching the news. It’s depressing and useless. If you’re a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven’t watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn’t hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.
- Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You’ll love it.
- Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It’s a bad habit to try to control others — it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.
- Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.
- Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn’t an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it’s wonderful.
- Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: “What new thing shall I try this week?” Then be sure to do it. You don’t have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.
- Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.
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Things You Need to Give Up Today
When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.
So starting today…
- Give up trying to be perfect.
– The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.
Read Getting Things Done
.
- Give up comparing yourself to others. – The only person you are competing against is yourself.
- Give up dwelling on the past or worrying too much about the future. – Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. Don’t miss it.
- Give up complaining. – Do something about it.
- Give up holding grudges. – Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness.
- Give up waiting. – What we don’t start today won’t be finished by tomorrow. Knowledge and intelligence are both useless without action.
- Give up lying. – In the long-run the truth always reveals itself. Either you own up to your actions or your actions will ultimately own you.
- Give up trying to avoid mistakes. – The only mistake that can truly hurt you is choosing to do nothing simply because you’re too scared to make a mistake.
- Give up saying, “I can’t.” – As Henry Ford put it, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
- Give up trying to be everything to everyone. – Making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. Start small. Start now.
- Give up thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Give up setting small goals for yourself. – Many people set small goals because they’re afraid to fail. Ironically, setting these small goals is what makes them fail.
- Give up trying to do everything by yourself. – You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you work together, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone.
- Give up buying things you don’t need. – Manage your money wisely so your money does not manage you. Do not spend to impress others. Do not live life trying to fool yourself into thinking wealth is measured in material objects. Read I Will Teach You To Be Rich
.
- Give up blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can live your dream life depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Give up making mountains out of molehills. – One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years? If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Give up trying to live up to the expectations of others. – Work on it for real and exceed your own expectations. Everything else will fall into place.
- Give up the ‘easy street’ mentality. – There is too much emphasis on finding a ‘quick fix’ in today’s society. For example taking diet pills to lose weight instead of exercising and eating well. No amount of magic fairy dust replaces diligent, focused, hard work.
- Give up making promises you can’t keep. – Don’t over-promise. Over-deliver on everything you do.
- Give up letting your thoughts and feelings bottle up inside. – People are not mind readers. They will never know how you feel unless you tell them.
- Give up beating around the bush. – Say what you mean and mean what you say. Communicate effectively.
- Give up avoiding change. – However good or bad a situation is now, it will change. That’s the one thing you can count on. So embrace change and realize that change happens for a reason. It won’t always be easy or obvious at first, but in the end it will be worth it.
- Give up your sense of entitlement. – Nobody is entitled to anything in this world. We are all equal. We breathe the same air. We get what we give. We get what we earn.
- Give up waiting until the last minute. – Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.
- Give up being dramatic. – Stay out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
- Give up being anti-athletic. – Get your body moving! Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout
.
- Give up junk food. – You are what you eat. Read The 4-Hour Body
.
- Give up eating as a means of entertainment. – Don’t eat when you’re bored. Eat when you’re hungry.
- Give up foolish habits that you know are foolish. – Don’t text and drive. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t smoke. Etc.
- Give up relationships with people who bring you down. – Saying “no” to right people gives you the time and resources required to say “yes” to right opportunities. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven and likeminded.
- Give up being shy. – Network with people. Meet new people. Ask questions. Introduce yourself.
- Give up worrying about what others think of you. – Unless you’re trying to make a great first impression (job interview, first date, etc.), don’t let the opinions of others stand in your way. What they think and say about you isn’t important. What is important is how you feel about yourself.
- Give up trying to control everything. – Life is an unpredictable phenomenon. No matter how good or bad things seem right now, we can never be 100% certain what will happen next. So do you best with what’s in front of you and leave the rest to the powers above you.
- Give up doing the same thing over and over again. – In order to grow, you must expand your horizons and break free of your comfort zone. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
- Give up following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t find the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Give up persistent multi-tasking. – Do one thing at a time and do it right.
- Give up thinking others are luckier than you. – The harder you work, the luckier you will become.
- Give up filling every waking moment with commitments and activities. – It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to do nothing sometimes. Think. Relax. Breathe. Be.
- Give up making emotional decisions. – Don’t let your emotions trump your intelligence. Slow down and think things through before you make any life-changing decisions.
- Give up doing the wrong things just because you can get away with it. – Just because you can get away with something doesn’t mean you should do it. Think bigger. Keep the end in mind. Do what you know in your heart is right.
- Give up focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Give up taking yourself so seriously. – Few others do anyway. So enjoy yourself and have a little fun while you can.
- Give up spending your life working in a career field you’re notpassionate about. – Life is too short for such nonsense. The right career choice is based on one key point: Finding hard work you love doing. So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re on to something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions. Read The 4-Hour Workweek
.
- Give up thinking about the things you don’t have. – Appreciate everything you do have. Many people aren’t so lucky.
- Give up doubting others. – People who are determined do remarkable things. Remember, the one who says it can’t be done should never interrupt the one doing it.
- Give up fussing with every beauty product on the market. – Good looks attracts the eyes. Personality attracts the heart. Be proud to be you. That’s when you’re beautiful.
- Give up trying to fit in. – Don’t mold yourself into someone you’re not. Be yourself. Oftentimes, the only reason they want you to fit in is that once you do they can ignore you and go about their business.
- Give up trying to be different for the sake of being different. – Nonconformity for the sake of nonconformity is conformity. When people try too hard to be different, they usually end up being just like everyone else who is trying to be different. Once again, be yourself.
- Give up trying to avoid risk. – There’s no such thing as ‘risk free.’ Everything you do or don’t do has an inherent risk.
- Give up putting your own needs on the back burner. – Yes, help others, but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
And remember, mistakes make us human, failures help us grow, hope keeps us going and love is the reason we’re alive. So keep learning, loving and living. Never give up on yourself.
This Excellent Article comes from marcandangel
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100 + Rules for Simplified Your Life
For the first time in history, people are facing the problem of having too much. Instead of asking “Where will our next meal come from?” we’re asking, “How can we keep ourselves from getting fat and lazy?”
One response to this dilemma is a passionate group of people voluntarily choosing to live simpler lives. 4 months ago, I began my own journey towards minimalist freedom and my view of the world has changed forever.
From my personal experience and learning from other minimalist friends, I’ve compiled the 103 most important rules to begin living a simpler life focused on the stuff that really matters. I hope it helps you as much as it has me.
- If you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it. Most real food is easy to pronounce – like peas, apples, nuts, berries, and beans. Avoid doozies like these- Monosodium glutamate, Butylated hydroxytoluene, and tert-Butylhydroquinone
- Be frugal and stay out of debt. Debt hangs over your head like a nasty storm cloud. It keeps you from complete autonomy and makes you into a modern-day slave.
- You’re a biped, walk everywhere. There’s no better way to enjoy the earth than by walking all over it.
- When in doubt, throw it out. If you haven’t used it in 6 months, you probably don’t need it.
- Check your email once a day, at most. Compulsive email checking is an epidemic. Quit cold turkey.
- Wear it twice (or thrice). Apparently, this rule doesn’t apply to underwear.
- Wash your dishes mindfully. Chores don’t have to be so bad. Put a smile on and enjoy the rhythms of the job.
- Appreciate art in many forms. Not just paintings and music. But teacher’s lessons, and blogs posts, and crisp, fall mornings.
- Treat everything as an end in itself. Do something because you enjoy it, or because it’s important to you.
- Turn of your cellphone. A ringing cell-phone is not conducive to intimate conversation or a dreamy first date. Be present.
- Sit still, enjoy it. We’re not used to stopping, even for a short time. Let go of everything else and just be.
- Take a few deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth.Feel the oxygen rush through your capillaries.
- Use a distraction free text editor. The human brain is unmatched in its ability to be distracted. Stack the odds in your favor – use darkroom.
- Unless it’s urgent, cancel the meeting. Meetings are 95% a waste of time. Send a memo instead and ask for a brief response in writing.
- Bury yourself in a good novel. Stories bring meaning to the world we live in, and yet make it seem like one big dream.
- Be authentically yourself. You’re you for a reason. Don’t put on a mask, hide your emotions, or put on a show. Just be you.
- Speak in plain, soft words. Everyone is slowly raising their voice to be heard in the crowd. Soon, the whole world will be shouting.
- Wink at the cashier. They’re human too. And yet so often we swipe our plastic and walk straight out of their lives.
- Use one towel the entire week. If you’re doing a good job in there, that towel should stay clean for eternity, right? Less is more my friend.
- Quit multi-tasking. Sometimes it’s OK, but most of the time, it’s just keeping you from doing one thing really, really well.
- Keep a small inner circle of trusted friends. Social media makes us think we can be friends with everyone. You can’t, unless everyone gets a really small piece of you.
- Mow the law in the slowest gear. Weird: we like the sun, we like the smell of grass, and yet we mow the lawn like speed demons.
- Buy a reversible belt. 2 for the price of 1. Enough said.
- Skip the gym membership, play with your kids. I hear kids are expensive, why not tap into their boundless energy and put them to good use.
- Listen intently, ask questions. It’s a dying art, but listening is your passport to a wealth of wisdom, not to mention some pretty cool friends.
- Buy a quality pair of jeans and wear them out. You’ll get a sense of completion. Satisfying, in a strange zen-like way.
- Pay in cold, hard cash. Plastic cards make money seem unreal. Maybe it is? Maybe this is all a big game we’re playing with ourselves.
- Find a job you love. Time is a precious resource but your boss might not think so. Find a job you won’t dread on Monday mornings, or else, make one.
- Set fewer goals, let action follow passion. Goals cause you to envy a future you that doesn’t exist. Do what excites you, and the results will surely come.
- Disconnect from the internet and do something that you’ll probably fail at. We’re safe in our little digital worlds. You can be who you want to be. Every now and then you have to fail at something, just to experience that razor edge.
- Feel the breeze and taste the salty air. Life is a smorgasbord of sounds, smells, tastes, and sights. Eat your heart out, kid.
- Go for a run, try to get lost. Don’t set a destination, just go. Turn left, then right, then right again. Repeat until desired result has been achieved.
- Keep your pockets light. We’re bogged down with so much stuff. Don’t let the madness spill into your pockets.
- Don’t wish away your today’s for tomorrow’s. It doesn’t hit most people until it’s too late, but life is a blessed gift. Just enjoy it my friend.
- Avoid advertising like the plague. Like a bad horror flick, they’re in our heads. The future of the human race hinges on our resistance.
- Is anyone reading this? I like you, a lot.
- Omit the unnecessary. Pare down your commitments, possessions, words, vices, addictions, and distractions.
- Focus on the essential. Make room for health, faith, fun, giving, laughing, loving, reading, and chasing your dreams.
- Automate your income. So much of our time is wasted doing stuff just to make a buck. There are remedies available, inquire within.
- Throw your TV out the second-story window. Never look back.
- Take a break from thinking. There’s a steady stream of thoughts that run through our minds all day, every day. If you don’t control it, it will certainly control you.
- Empty yourself. Experience the lightness of letting go.
- Pray like you mean it, and then listen. We are more than flesh and bones. Faith gives meaning to the world around us.
- Give until it hurts, and then, just a little more. Your happiness is so intricately tied to the happiness of others, that it doesn’t make sense to live any other way.
- Declutter your freakin’ closet. Donate anything you haven’t worn in a year and give your closet some breathing room.
- And keep your desk clear, minus a picture frame. It’s hard to focus amidst piles of clutter and chaos. Keep flat surfaces clear except for a few accent pieces.
- Write concisely. Brevity is the key to making a point.
- No more than 5 words on a Power Point slide. Ever. Boring Power Pointsare the bane of my existence. Speak with stories and put pictures on your slide that stick in my brain.
- Keep your speeches pithy, humorous, and to the point. The key to being heard in this noisy world is to pack a powerful punch. Plus, people like to laugh.
- Respect other people’s time. In the modern world, time is quickly becoming our most precious resource.
- Do what you love and then get paid for it. If you had the choice, wouldn’t you. You do, now go.
- Health can’t be measured on a scale, don’t bother. I’d like to know what a scale can tell you that a 5k road race and a mirror couldn’t? You’re either healthy, or you’re not.
- Stop complaining, enjoy the scenery. Birds, mountains, corn fields, lakes, people – there’s no reason to be bored.
- Try yoga to calm your soul (and get a sexy six-pack). Yoga is for everyone. It’s a slow way to unwind from a day in the rat-race.
- Figure out why we’re here. Ask the difficult questions and go wherever they lead you.
- If you’re standing in line, make a friend. This should go without saying, but then again, we have a nasty habit of getting stuck in our own little worlds.
- Cut your possessions in half, and then half again. Boom! Welcome to the minimalist lifestyle. Now, go do something that matters.
- Make your own gifts, and don’t be afraid to mess up. Sometimes its the imperfections that add character. Guy’s note this: girls will think it’s cute anyway.
- To make money, add value to someone’s life. It’s that simple. #1 money making rule: I will pay you to make my life better or easier or more exciting. #2 money making rule: Be Indispensable
- Limit all emails to 5 sentences or less. Attention is a limited resource, treat it like gold.
- Linger at the dinner table. There’s something about sharing a meal together that makes you family. Make this time sacred.
- Become a great story teller. Stories speak to us, and make us think, and inspire us, and break our hearts.
- Change just one habit at a time. Never underestimate the power of small, incremental change over the long haul.
- Cut loose your extra baggage. We come into the world with nothing and leave with nothing. And yet, we insist on caring a bunch of stuff with us while we’re here.
- Travel lightly. Minimal luggage means maximum adventure.
- Avoid the touristy areas. Seek out the local people, eat their food, and sleep in their homes.
- Explore: people and places. We’re not static creatures, our design is based on change, and growth, and awakening. Find people who inspire you to dig deeper.
- Don’t eat anything that’s symmetrical. Nothing in nature is perfectly round or square – you can’t say the same thing about Oreo’s, Ritz Crackers, and Milky Ways.
- Check the library first. Libraries are the future of the planet. Not just for books, but for tools, tables, TVs, cars, houses, and a host of other things you can’t imagine, just yet.
- Walk barefoot in the grass. Now, run and play and skin your knees on something.
- Downsize your home – better yet – rent an apartment. It costs a lot of money to heat and maintain extra square footage. Simplify.
- Chew it 20 times before you swallow. And put your fork down between bites. This is how to make room for actual conversations in your life.
- Play, laugh, giggle, skip, roll, and be merry. In a word: childlike.
- Stop consuming, create something. Consuming is passive and leaves you emptier. Creating awakens you from the inside out.
- Sit by the fire and by mystified. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. Any time you can engage all 5 senses – you’re doing something right.
- Let go of expectations. The only thing in the way of your happiness is your perception of how things should turn out.
- And free yourself from the expectations of others. You’re real friends won’t mind, the rest have a thing or two to learn.
- Don’t you dare forward that chain email. Oh, don’t you even dare.
- Live with less than 100 possessions. Just a number, but its become the holy grail of minimalist freedom.
- Be shamelessly unproductive. Chase someone with a hose, wrestle your friends, make a prank call. Make someone smile.
- Use lists, they’re easy and fun to read. We could all use a splash of fun in our day, right?
- Simplify your morning routine. Set the mood for your day: drink a glass of water, sit quietly and pray (or think), stretch and be on your way.
- Quit reading the newspaper. Bad things happen, stocks go up and down, politicians want your soul. There, I caught you up for the next 6 months.
- Avoid twitter when you’re tired and vulnerable. Twitter sucks you in and karate chops you across the back. It’s a real time waster, too.
- Buy quality, well-built products. Mother earth will thank you a thousand times over.
- Support your local community. Spend your money at mom and pop stores where they still care to know your name.
- Find joy in little things, like kittens and rain drops. Big picture people tend to be happy when things are going well. Small picture people have a billion reasons to be happy, everyday.
- Work smarter, not harder. Productivity isn’t everything. In fact, if you’re enjoying yourself, it doesn’t matter. But if you’re not – find a smarter way of working.
- Be a nomad for one year (or at least a month). We get so attached to physical things. What if we moved with a few people we love and the clothes on our back? What if we became nomads for good?
- Shop on Black Friday, avoid the other days. Awful congestion, but wicked good sales. I hate shopping, but really, this is the day to do it.
- Go with the flow, bro. Just when you think you’ve figured it out, something will change. Life is best enjoyed in the moment.
- Enjoy without owning. A change occurs when you call something yours. It loses a certain value and a connection with the larger world.
- Stop being spineless, learn to say no. It’s not being rude, you can’t be everything for everyone. Choose wisely.
- Limit non face-to-face communication. Humans have 5 senses for a reason, a good conversation engages all of them.
- Purge your inbox like it’s your job. When work piles up, even if it’s out of sight, you will carry that burden with you anywhere you go.
- Edit your life ruthlessly. Experiment with your approach, ask questions, and cut out the stuff that isn’t working.
- Spend time alone, without distractions. So few people really know themselves, it take away from their ability to know others.
- Drive under the speed limit, Speedy Gonzalez. Speed limit – it’s interesting to me that we’ve come to understand that number to be the minimum miles per hour we should be driving.
- Create a simple weekly dinner menu. Make it healthy and keep it simple. This will make grocery shopping 100x easier.
- Let go of fake needs. Years of exposure has us convinced that we need to buy something to meet a need. That’s not part of our design. Everything you need to be happy can be grown, introduced, or found.
- Leave white space in your day. There should be space between the events in your day to leave room for taking it all in.
- Have the audacity to be content. It takes courage to be content with who you are and where you’re at right now. Millions of advertisements will try to talk you out of it, stay strong my friend.
- Be faithful to one spouse. Love their guts out. In fact, go give them a hug right now. Not just today, do this every day for the rest of your life.
My Morning Rituals
Most personal development and productivity experts suggest mornings as the best time for clear and focused results-driven work. I’ve experienced the same and form my days around just a few hours of work in the morning between 10am and 1pm. I also believe that different people work best at different times, but no matter when you’re productive hours are, it’s important you set up your day for greater wellbeing with some healthy morning rituals. Here are ten ideas:
- Wake up. Don’t hit snooze. Jump out of bed as if someone threw a bucket of cold water on you. Half of your day’s success is actually showing up and being excited. Rest time is over, get out of bed now.
- Drink a pint of water first thing in the morning. If you don’t like water on its own, squeeze some fresh lime into it. Water is great for you – you know that, mom said that and now we’ve got to do it!
- Make yourself a blend of fruits that excite you. I love a carrot-apple-ginger juice and drink it in the morning before eating and wait at least an hour or so before I eat.
- Go out and take in the sunlight. I wake up when I see sun. Its energy, invigoration and excitement is absolutely amazing. Get up and spend a minute outside looking up in the sky taking in the morning light. Wrap up warm if it’s cold, but make sure you do it.
- Spend time in silence. Be grateful for what you have. Mentally or on paper, plan the day out. If you don’t do the previous night, write out your to-do list of the most exciting and important things.
- Cuddle your kids (or find some to cuddle). Kids bring excitement and awe in the way they think and view the world. Spending time around them helps you to cultivate the inner child within you. And doing it from the morning is even better.
- Brush your tongue. Lose the morning breath and start off on a minty note.
- Go for a walk. Or hop on the treadmill for 30 minutes. People who walk in the morning have more energy than those who walk at night after a long day. Use the work to appreciate your surroundings and plan your day. In silence if possible.
- Drink green tea. Instead of coffee, have a cup of green tea. Boosts your energy, provides antioxidants and has been promoted as a great natural healthy option.
- Journal. A list of rituals without journaling in the morning isn’t complete. I find it the most exhilarating thing to be sitting down for a short period and just writing out whatever comes to my head, no matter whether it immediately makes sense to me or not.
What do you do in the morning as part of your “rituals”? Tell me in the Comments Section Below:
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Measures to get rid of inner tube Belly
If you have that extra tire around your stomach area, you are carrying around what is commonly known as an inner tube belly. This area very often carries excess weight and can contribute to diseases such as heart disease and diabetes. Although it is difficult, it is possible to eliminate that bulge around the middle of your waist.
Instructions
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1
Eliminate sugar and all processed foods from your diet. That means no fast food french fries or homemade brownies. If it contains saturated fat it will go directly to your belly.
- 2
Eat protein and not carbohydrates. That means you should load up on meat and egg whites, but get rid of bread, cereals, potatoes and pasta. Excess carbs go directly to fat stores.
- 3
Drink at least 64 oz. of water daily. This will help to flush toxins and fats from your system as they are burned.
- 4
Throw away high-calorie drinks. This means you should get rid of all soft drinks, juices and sports drinks that contain excess calories and carbohydrates.
- 5
Do aerobic exercise that burns calories. Be sure you exercise at a level where you are burning fat. See a fitness specialist or a doctor to determine the aerobic level at which you will burn fat.
- 6
Do crunches, sit ups, lower leg lifts, side bends and other exercises to target the front, back and side abdominal area. If you belong to a gym, set up an appointment with a personal trainer to instruct you in proper technique for optimal abdominal gains.
- 7
Eliminate fat from your diet. Cut excess fat from meats, do not use butter or creams, and skim fat out of soups or gravies. Drink milk, but stick to 2 percent or less.
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- Ways To Boost Your Metabolism (totalwellnessadvocate.wordpress.com)
18 Simple Ways to Achieve Succes
Sometimes we need to get back on our feet and regain control of our lives.Here are a few ideas to inspire yourself to do great things. I’ve learned to hold on to each and everyone of them.I like spontaneity but I also like results to live the life I want to lead.And above all I like simple ways to achieve those results.
Read on and achieve your own success!
- Go the Opposite way. If you do what others do, you get what others get so go the opposite way. Be unique.
- Take small steps. Take one small step everyday towards your goal. If you start out doing too much your perseverance won’t last…..[Read More]
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- Goal Setting For Better Physique (makelivingbetter.wordpress.com)
I Believe, And You….?
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I Believe…
That just because two people argue, It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, It doesn’t mean they do love each other. |
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I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if We understand that friends change. |
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I Believe….
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you, every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. |
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I Believe…..
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. |
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I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life. |
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I Believe….
That it’s taking me a long time To become the person I want to be, and I am still evolving. |
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I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them. |
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I Believe….
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t. |
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I Believe….
That we are responsible for what We do, no matter how we feel. |
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I Believe…
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. |
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I Believe….
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. |
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I Believe….
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.. |
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I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. |
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I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. |
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I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had And what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. |
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I Believe…..
That it isn’t always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. |
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I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. |
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I Believe….
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. |
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I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. |
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I Believe….
Two people can look at the exact same Thing and see something totally different. |
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I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you. |
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I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give, When a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. |
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I Believe…
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. |
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I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. |
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I Believe…
That you should fwd this to people that you believe in. I just did. |
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‘The happiest of people don’t necessarily have
the best of everything; They just make the most of everything they have. |
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The Few Myths of Diabetes
There are many myths about diabetes that make it difficult for people to believe some of the hard facts – such as diabetes is a serious and potentially deadly disease. These myths can create a picture of diabetes that is not accurate and full of stereotypes and stigma.
Get the facts about diabetes and learn how you can stop diabetes myths and misconceptions.
Myth: Diabetes is not that serious of a disease.
Fact: Diabetes causes more deaths a year than breast cancer and AIDS combined. Two out of three people with diabetes die from heart disease or stroke.
Myth: If you are overweight or obese, you will eventually develop type 2 diabetes.
Fact: Being overweight is a risk factor for developing this disease, but other risk factors such as family history, ethnicity and age also play a role. Unfortunately, too many people disregard the other risk factors for diabetes and think that weight is the only risk factor for type 2 diabetes. Most overweight people never develop type 2 diabetes, and many people with type 2 diabetes are at a normal weight or only moderately overweight.
Myth: Eating too much sugar causes diabetes.
Fact: No, it does not. Type 1 diabetes is caused by genetics and unknown factors that trigger the onset of the disease; type 2 diabetes is caused by genetics and lifestyle factors. Being overweight does increase your risk for developing type 2 diabetes, and a diet high in calories, whether from sugar or from fat, can contribute to weight gain. If you have a history of diabetes in your family, eating a healthy meal plan and regular exercise are recommended to manage your weight.
Myth: People with diabetes should eat special diabetic foods.
Fact: A healthy meal plan for people with diabetes is generally the same as a healthy diet for anyone – low in fat (especially saturated and trans fat), moderate in salt and sugar, with meals based on whole grain foods, vegetables and fruit. Diabetic and “dietetic” foods generally offer no special benefit. Most of them still raise blood glucose levels, are usually more expensive, and can also have a laxative effect if they contain sugar alcohols.
Myth: If you have diabetes, you should only eat small amounts of starchy foods, such as bread, potatoes and pasta.
Fact: Starchy foods are part of a healthy meal plan. What is important is the portion size. Whole grain breads, cereals, pasta, rice and starchy vegetables like potatoes, yams, peas and corn can be included in your meals and snacks. The key is portions. For most people with diabetes, having 3-4 servings of carbohydrate-containing foods is about right. Whole grain starchy foods are also a good source of fiber, which helps keep your gut healthy.
Myth: People with diabetes can’t eat sweets or chocolate.
Fact: If eaten as part of a healthy meal plan, or combined with exercise, sweets and desserts can be eaten by people with diabetes. They are no more “off limits” to people with diabetes than they are to people without diabetes.
Myth: You can catch diabetes from someone else.
Fact: No. Although we don’t know exactly why some people develop diabetes, we know diabetes is not contagious. It can’t be caught like a cold or flu. There seems to be some genetic link in diabetes, particularly type 2 diabetes. Lifestyle factors also play a part.
Myth: People with diabetes are more likely to get colds and other illnesses.
Fact: You are no more likely to get a cold or another illness if you have diabetes. However, people with diabetes are advised to get flu shots. This is because any illness can make diabetes more difficult to control, and people with diabetes who do get the flu are more likely than others to go on to develop serious complications.
Myth: If you have type 2 diabetes and your doctor says you need to start using insulin, it means you’re failing to take care of your diabetes properly.
Fact: For most people, type 2 diabetes is a progressive disease. When first diagnosed, many people with type 2 diabetes can keep their blood glucose at a healthy level with oral medications. But over time, the body gradually produces less and less of its own insulin, and eventually oral medications may not be enough to keep blood glucose levels normal. Using insulin to get blood glucose levels to a healthy level is a good thing, not a bad one.
Myth: Fruit is a healthy food. Therefore, it is ok to eat as much of it as you wish.
Fact: Fruit is a healthy food. It contains fiber and lots of vitamins and minerals. Because fruits contain carbohydrates, they need to be included in your meal plan. Talk to your dietitian about the amount, frequency and types of fruits you should eat.
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