Top Ten Self-improvement Objects in the way You Need to Cope With
Self-improvement may include anything, from providing up cigarette using tobacco to using the addiction of spending budget. However, the self-improvement objectives are not that easy to obtain. Your own thoughts may put a variety of obstructions in your direction. It is a well-known proven reality that an personal making initiatives for self-improvement is often frustrated by his or her own ideas and routines. The first thing should be to observe down these constraints and understand how to cope with them. Here is a conversation on the 10 typical self-improvement obstructions you need to cope with.
Habit of Postponing
The most usual obstacle is the habit to postpone the self-improvement efforts. The efforts for whatever change you wish to bring in your life should begin today itself. Delaying the things may put your interest off and you may never be able to start. For instance, if you wish to leave cigarette smoking, you must start practicing the right techniques like hypnosis from today onwards.
Habit of Acceptance
The efforts towards improvement often take the backseat if you accept that the things are not going to change. Don’t believe that the present circumstances can’t be improved at any cost. Remember that it is you who will evaluate your situation and take the decision to improve or not. Get out of the boundary of accepting the things easily and challenge yourself that you want to bring the change in order to improve your life.
To Do Lists Don’t Work
Many people fail to maintain schedule which is another common hindrance in the direction of self-improvement. This happens because of the general notion that to do lists don’t work at all. The fact is that scheduling and following the schedule religiously is one great step to achieve the improvement goals. In fact, planning a schedule will help you spare quality time for many more things that will make you happy and motivated.
Self-improvement Is Not for Me
People have the tendency to forget one of the most important facts of life that nobody in this world is perfect. You can keep on moving on the path of self-improvement to make your life better and better. Thinking that self-improvement is only for losers is actually depriving you from leading a life better than your present day living. For instance, if you don’t know swimming, just think how learning this exercise can improve your lifestyle.
Keeping It a Secret
It is a typical perception of individuals that it is better to keep the self-improvement initiatives a key from others. Some individuals never like others to know that they are going through weight-loss workouts. This form of considering can deny you from useful reviews that you must obtain from individuals around you. Keep in mind that getting your self-improvement activities evaluated by others will increase your assurance and encourage your further.
Self-improvement if Expensive
Many people never start with self-improvement initiatives, considering that it will include a lot of money. The truth is that you can always search for beneficial options that can help you in enhancing your life without strenuous big money. Even your buddies can help you by indicating some useful ways of self-improvement. You never have to shell out on many guides and programs for the objective of enhancing. Invest some time to discover one or two good guides or video clips that you discover value investing on.
Habit of Binding
People by characteristics are limited to develop within the relaxation areas of their specific societies. However, you can carry enhancement in lifestyle by studying new elements owed to various other societies. The best example would be to understand a new terminology that will add considerably to your understanding. Furthermore, you can increase further by studying a bit of different way of lifestyle.
Boring and Time Consuming
Upgrades in lifestyle may take several days or several weeks to display. This is a reality against what the so-called self-improvement professionals declare to carry up the changes in a couple several days. And, it is a frustrating believed for many individuals. You have to think this way that your lifestyle is going towards enhancement and you have to savor this modification. It is value knowing that this voyage for enhancement will be thoroughly pleasant.
Only Big Changes Lead to Improvement
Big changes do account for larger upgrades, but small changes are similarly significant. Many people immediate their initiatives to obtain big changes only, without acknowledging the value of the small steps. For example, if you start going for a day move daily, it will add to your time and effort of reaching health.
More Thoughts Fewer Efforts
Lastly, it is another element of people instinct that initiatives actually created towards self-improvement does not have behind the ideas of enhancement. In other terms, good considering alone cannot help you obtain the self-improvement advantages. You will have to create initiatives to recognize these ideas.
You will definitely link with many of these self-improvement obstructions. Give your best taken to get rid of these constraints and provides your 100% to increase for better.
Originally Posted by: Self Improvement Bible
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Some Short Instructions to Live Life.!
~ Give people more than they expect and do this with joy ~
~ Do not forget your favorite poem ~
~ Do not believe everything you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want ~
~ When you say “I love you”, mean ~
~ When you say “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye ~
~ Be engaged at least six months before marriage ~
~ Believe in love at first sight ~
~ Never laugh at anyone’s dreams ~
~ Love deeply and passionately. It can also happen, but it is the only way to live life to the fullest ~
~ In disagreements, fight fairly. No insults ~
~ Do not judge people by their relatives. “No kidding” ~
Talk slowly but think quickly ~
~ When someone asks you a question you do not want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” ~
~ Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk ~
~ ~ Call your mother
~ Saying “God bless you” when someone sneezes ~
~ When you lose, do not lose the lesson ~
~ Remember the three R’s: Respect yourself, Respect others and Responsibility for all your actions ~
~ Do not let a little dispute injure a great friendship ~
~ When you realize you made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct ~
~ Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice ~
~ Marry a woman / man you love to talk. As you get older, his ability / her conversation
is as important as everyone else ~
~ Spend some ‘alone time ~
~ Open your arms to change, but do not let your values ~
~ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer ~
~ Read more books and watch less television ~
~ Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you can enjoy again ~
~ Trust in God but lock your car ~
~ A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do everything you can to create a house in a quiet, smooth ~
~ In disagreements with loved ones, given the current situation. Do not wake the past ~
~ ~ Read between the lines
~ Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality ~
~ Be kind to the earth ~
~ Ore. There’s immeasurable power in the ~
~ Never interrupt when you are flattered ~
Mind your own business ~ ~
~ Do not trust a man / woman who does not close his / her eyes when they kiss ~
~ Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before ~
~ If you do a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are alive. It is the satisfaction the greatest wealth ~
~ Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck ~
~ Learn the rules then break some ~
~ Remember that the best relationship is one where the love between two people is greater than your need for each other ~
~ Judge your success by what you had to give up to obtain ~
~ Remember that your character is your destiny ~
~ Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
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You Lie More Often Than You Think
“The individual who wants all their applause from outside has their pleasure in another’s preserving.” — Claudius Claudianus
Once, in a marriage training I was offering, I offered a research operate to each individual which essential them to make to lifestyle one complete 7 days with a wish to talk exactly what they were considering and sensation to those with whom they had any get hold of. This provided household, associates and even visitors. What I found was that many persons are considerably pushed in their capability to be genuine and obvious when it comes to saying what they really think to others. They are conflicted between what they really think, and their wish (need) to not chance the disapproval of others.
One fresh individual who came again the next 7 days and discussed how she was really able to recognize her need for endorsement and endorsement from others when she declined a demand from a buddy. She revealed that while, at first, it was unpleasant it was also the most publishing expertise she had ever known. She recognized that she had granted herself to be used hostage in every marriage she ever had been in because she was dependent to the endorsement of others. Buddha shown that connection is at the actual of all enduring. I wonder how many of us allow ourselves to expertise, being used in psychological nipple play (or better said, psychological blackmail) by others, not because of their requirements, but because of our own connection to being beloved and worry of denial or disapproval. Rob Waldo Emerson authored, “The only sin that we never reduce in each other is a distinction in viewpoint.” Bill Penn said it even more succinctly: “There can be no marriage where there is no independence. Friendship likes totally free air, and will not be fenced up in right and small enclosures.”
Are you totally able to have a distinction of viewpoint with others and communicate it without fear? Can you say no without fear? And, as well, do you supply others the same independence to say no to you without submitting them on a shame trip? If the very believed of that kind of expertise can make your pulse battle, perhaps it’s a chance to examine your capability to get to “no” others better.
Where do you start? Have becoming secure in understanding that beyond your egoic self (which grows on endorsement from others) there is within you the use of an unlimited energy performing as your “soul” specialist. While center always functions from unconditional like it never wants endorsement from others. Often periods, saying “no” can be the most caring element you can do for others and yourself. When you do your living from such a place of self-awareness you will know that if you are led to say no to someone there will be no need to you are, supply or warrant your location. Describe to them that you are not rejecting them, only their demand. Know who you are and be totally free.
In all your activities with others, keep in mind that it’s not so much what you say but how you say it. When someone can make a demand of you that does not obtain an real “yes” in your center, merely take in considerably and encourage a mindful knowledge of spirit’s location to be believed within you. Let your phrases be tv through that location and you will discover the energy and acceptance to say “no” in a way that is variety, caring and definitely apparent. Let nothing be partial in your emails currently and recognize how totally free you experience.
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15 Steps to a Balanced and Happy Marriage
The other day my husband and I were talking about our marriage and how happy we are together. Then we somehow started talking about our friends and how some of their marriages and relationships didn’t work out. It was sad to see some of them go through painful divorces or experience great disappointments in people who were considered their second halves just a while back.
It’s not a secret that rates of divorces are rising like crazy all over the world now (in the United States 50% of all marriages end in divorce and in Ukraine the rates are just a little bit lower). I am not going to go into the details of why it is happening but I would like to share my experience of a happy and balanced marriage. I hope that maybe these tips will help some couples to live happily ever after.
- Be honest with each other. I think marriage and any serious relationship starts with honesty.
My husband is a scuba diver and he has a few scuba buddies. If you do not know much about diving then I want to share one secret: it is EXTREMELY expensive (you need at least $3000 on average to get your own gear and as you become better at it you will want more expensive and more professional equipment). For the reason that I cannot figure out scuba diving is a real addiction for men and they cannot stop buying new equipment no matter how much they have already (my husband is past that point thankfully
) Back to the scuba buddies, these guys are married and they hide their new equipment from their wives. Every time they buy something new they try to sneak around and get it delivered when their wives are not home, then they hide it real good to make sure that their wives do not know how much they’ve just spent (my husband has never done anything like this, phew!). One of these guys has just divorced and now they are fighting over the custody of the children. I can’t imagine living with a person who is not honest with me, neither does my husband and I do not have much hope in marriages that are based on lies and sneaking around. - Do not only say “I love you,” show it.
My parents divorced when I was about 10 years old. I remember my dad always talking a lot about how much he loved my mom and me but he never showed it. He never helped my mom around the house, he never helped her financially to raise me after the divorce, and he never tried hard enough to be a good husband and a good dad.
It is important to show your partner your love. It can be support in a difficult situation, help around the house or with the kids, a romantic night out or a timely hug when you are feeling blue.
- In a relationship you are a team and not two solo players. When you are married you lose some of your “I” and turn it into “We.” Marriage is like a football game (without getting slammed though ). A person who does not know the rules will look at the field and see a bunch of big guys running around, jumping on each other and acting completely irrational. A person who knows the rules will see a strategy behind every move. Each player has his own role on the field and each of the players is responsible for the final score. In a marriage it is important to have your own life and your own interests, however happy couples know that all these interests are worthless if they do not benefit their team. There is a great movie called Facing the Giants that continues this analogy (this is a Christian movie). Another one of my favorites is Fireproof and I think that all couples need to watch it because it is a wonderful and inspiring movie.
- Keep romance burning in your relationship. There is nothing worse than a boring and unromantic relationship. When women start wearing hair rollers and shower caps around the house and when men spend all their time on the coach with a bottle of beer in their hands you can say that this relationship is doomed. Here are 10 ways to turn a boring relationship into a party of love and I am sure that you can think of at least 100 more.
- Be best friends. A marriage based only on friendship is hardly possible, but a marriage without friendship is doomed. What do friends do? They talk, they share their most intimate thoughts, they share their joys and sorrows, they have fun together, and they help and support each other. Can you imagine a marriage without all this? I can’t.
- Let little things slide. This tip is mostly meant for women because a lot of us (women) go crazy about little things like dirty socks around the house, a glass that was left in the wrong place or the wrong type of produce that he picked up at the grocery store. Men can think only about one thing at a time (these are words of my husband, no offense guys). When they think about a nice bottle of wine that they want to bring home for supper they forget whether you wanted Romaine lettuce or spinach. When they think about a football game they forget where they leave their glass and when they are ready to cuddle up with you under a blanket they forget where they threw their socks. Look at the big picture and enjoy a deep relationship and bond with your partner, after all nobody is perfect.
- Talk. When I say “talk” I do not mean just talking about what refrigerator you have to buy or what happened at work during the day. I mean talking about everything: about friends, about news, about your interests, about your concerns and about 100 more subjects. My husband and I lose track of time when we start talking to each other and I love this time more than anything else in the world (well, almost anything
). Talking will help you understand what is going on in the head of your spouse, what bothers him/her, it will help you to resolve and prevent conflicts and misunderstandings if they arise (the worst thing is to keep a grudge inside and let it destroy your marriage). - Be silent. Sounds contradictory to what I’ve just said, right? If you and your partner argue (it happens to the best of us) then you are likely to say something that you do not really mean. When we are upset we tend to pick the most stinging words that can hurt your partner’s trust and faith in you permanently. I find that it is much better to be silent in these situations and to let both of us cool down a little bit. After the smoke has cleared and you can think rationally again you can talk the whole situation over and most likely you will find an easy solution or explanation that will satisfy both of you.
- Be equally responsible for the family and household. This is a tip for men. A lot of men mention that marriage kills romance and that their wives become less interested in sex and fun activities that they used to enjoy before. This is really true because a lot of women get so tied up in household problems and bringing up children (not mentioning the fact that a lot of women are also working at the same time) that they do not have any energy left for anything else.
Most men still think that a woman is a 100% responsible for bringing up children and taking care of the household. How many men change about half the amount of diapers that women do? How much time do men spend with the children when the kids are in a bad mood? How often do men think about what to fix for supper or when to vacuum the house? If you are one of the men who does it all or is willing to do it all then your wife is (will be) a very happy woman (my husband is all I’ve just mentioned and even more ). How would you expect a woman to think about a romantic night when she has been changing dirty diapers all day long and her personal time was limited to 5 minutes in the shower? A marriage puts a lot of responsibilities on both a man and a woman and if you want a happy and sexy wife then you need to give her some help and some free time. - Smile and laugh together. According to a recent study people who smile a lot have lower rates of divorce. Researchers are not quite sure about the connection between smiling and happy marriages but having great time together and laughing a lot will help you become more positive about your relationship and life in general.
Here are 5 more rules that do not need any explanation in my opinion.
- Love each other
- Respect each other
- Support each other
- Understand each other
- Give to each other
A balanced and happy marriage is not a dream, it is a reality for me. I wish that more people could enjoy relationships that were satisfying and long-lasting at the same time. Do you have anything to add to this list? I am looking forward to your feedback.
Keep it balanced!
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20 Key Ideas For a Happy Marriage
1. Keep your mind on your main goal, which is to have a happy marriage. Say and do what will enable you and your spouse to have a happy marriage. Avoid the opposite. Everything else is commentary.
2. Keep asking yourselves, What can we do to have a happy, loving atmosphere in our home?
3. Focus on giving, rather than taking. Say and do as many things as possible to meet your spouses needs.
4. Keep doing and saying things that will give your spouse a sense of importance.
5. Frequently ask yourself, What positive things can I say and do to put my (husband or wife) in a positive emotional state?
6. Before speaking, clarify the outcome you want. The meaning of your communication is the response you actually get. If the first thing you say is not achieving your goal, change your approach. Remember that mutual respect and happiness is your real goal. Do not needlessly argue. Silence is often the wisest choice. Constantly be mutually respectful.
7. Show appreciation and gratitude in as many ways as possible. Say something appreciative a few times a day.
8. Be a good listener. Understand your spouse from his or her point of view.
9. Be considerate of the feelings and needs of your spouse. Think of ways that you have lacked consideration and be resolved to increase your level of consideration.
10. Instead of blaming and complaining think of positive ways to motivate your spouse. If your first strategies are not effective, think of creative ways.
11. Give up unrealistic expectations. Do not expect your spouse to be perfect and do not make comparisons.
12. Do not cause pain with words. If your spouse speaks to you in ways that cause you pain, choose outcome wording, Lets speak to each other in ways that are mutually respectful.
13. Be willing to compromise. Be willing to do something you would rather not do in return for similar behavior from your spouse.
14. Write a list of ways that you have benefited from being married to your spouse. Keep adding to the list and reread it frequently.
15. Write a list of your spouses positive patterns and qualities. Keep adding to the list and read it frequently.
16. Keep thinking about what you can do to bring out the best qualities of your spouse. Reinforce those qualities with words and action.
17. Focus on finding solutions to any problems that arise. Be solution oriented. Do not just blame and complain. Do not focus on who is more wrong. For a happy marriage, work together to find mutually acceptable solutions.
18. Remember your finest moments. What did you say and do when you felt best about each other? Increase them.
19. Look for positive activities you can do together.
20. Live in the present. What went wrong in the past is the past. You create the present and future with your thoughts, words, and actions right now. Choose them wisely.
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10 Marriage Rules You Should Break
The two of you should do everything together; work out every disagreement (without actuallyfighting); spend every night in the same bed; and never, ever be bored. Say what?! These and other so-called “rules” for marriage need some serious debunking. And it’s not just because rules your mother may have passed on are outdated; some may be downright damaging. In fact, “breaking some marriage ‘rules’ may be the best thing you can do for your relationship,” says Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Here are 10 rules you can break with confidence.
1. Never go to bed angry.
Where did this one come from? Turns out, it may go as far back as the Bible, which advises not letting the sun go down on your anger. But trying to work through a problem when you’re tired and stressed won’t get you anywhere, says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD,psychologist
and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “Agree to disagree for now, and to revisit the issue when you’re rested.”
2. Always be 100% honest.
In marriage, no-holds-barred honesty is not always the best policy. For example, “you don’t need to share details of past relationships,” says Bartlein. “That invites comparisons, and when you compare, someone comes up short.” The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner’s feelings.
3. Never vacation without each other.
The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together. One problem with this rule is that you and your spouse may not have the same definition of a great getaway (you like to ski, he’s a beach bum). The other danger, says Dr. Lombardo, is the belief “that you have to be each other’s everything, and that’s just not realistic.” Sometimes, you need a spa weekend, and he may want to go camping (or vice versa). Just be sure that you don’t alwaystake off without each other.
4. If you fight, you’re headed for divorce.
Actually, says Bartlein, research shows that couples who neverfight—assuming that means they’re holding back to avoid conflict—are more likely to split. You need to find ways to fight healthily and productively (without blaming, name-calling and the like), but that said, being committed to respectfully airing out conflicts is a far better rule than “keep your mouth shut.”
5. Once you have children, they come first.
“So often, I see couples who have put their relationship on hold in order to be good parents,” says Dr. Lombardo. But those couples, she says, have it exactly backward. Making your relationship top priority is better not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. “Create couple-only time during which you do not discuss bills or children, where you do fun activities and enjoy each other’s company.” The kids’ll be all right.
6. You should never sleep in separate beds.
Um, snore much? It’s a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don’t sweat it. “Getting a good night’s sleep is crucial to the health of your mind, body andmarriage,” says Dr. Lombardo. Just be sure a separate-bed habit isn’t about avoiding sex or physical intimacy.
7. Partners should sync up their hobbies.
Though spending every free moment you have training for a marathon while your spouse works on his classic car isn’t good for your marriage, neither is subscribing to the notion you should quit doing what you love just because your husband doesn’t love the same things. Giving up your passions is akin to forgoing your independence, and “without independence in a marriage people feel trapped,” says Bartlein. Pursue your separate interests andfind activities you both enjoy.
8. If there’s no spark, you’re doomed.
Many married couples understand intellectually that they won’t always experience that I’ve-been-drugged-by-love feeling in a long-term relationship. “But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and seek something new,” says Bartlein. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. The mistake here is to believe that you can live forever on fireworks, or even just love, alone.
9. Boring is bad.
The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one. A drama-filled relationship may feel exciting, but in the long run it’s not likely to be healthy. Isn’t it better, she says, to “boringly” know where your spouse is every night than to be “excited” by constant ups and downs? “Better to have a safe, relaxed, ‘boring’ life together in the everyday. You can always inject excitement with vacations and activities.”
10. You should have sex with your partner to make him/her happy.
This may be a particular problem for women, especially new mothers. “Sex becomes yet another item on your to-do list, and you think you have to do it for the sake of your marriage, and the happiness of your spouse,” says Dr. Lombardo. While neither of those reasons is wrong, they shouldn’t be the only reasons. “Sex is for both of you.”
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8 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Couples
Your sister, your best friend, your cubicle-mate—you keep hearing about these women who enjoy fabulous sex lives with their partners. But how do they manage to keep it hot, especially when they have a couple of kids and more than a few years together? So you don’t have to broach the subject yourself, we asked a few lucky women for their secrets to a satisfying sex life. Here’s what they had to say—and how you can apply their advice in your own bedroom.
1. They schedule sex.
What? Put “Have sex” on your calendar? “Absolutely!” say couples happy with their sex lives. Rather than killing the mood with a lack of spontaneity, scheduling sex tends to “take away all the very real excuses I could otherwise use, like that I’m exhausted after working and getting the kids to bed,” says Holly Jenkins,* who has been married for two years and has three boys under the age of 10. “For couples in long-term relationships, planning a romantic interlude leads to a higher-quality, more enjoyable sexual experience,” says Victoria Zdrok Wilson, JD, PhD, who cowrote The 30-Day Sex Solution with her husband, John Wilson. Instead of thinking of calendar sex as unromantic, view it instead as a delicious form of foreplay. Send each other anticipatory texts, plan what you’ll wear (or not), and so on.
2. They lock the bedroom door.
This little bit of hardware is essential in a home with children, says Jennifer Flanders, who’s been married 24 years and has 12 children, ranging in age from 11 months to 23 years. She jokes that whenever the family moves to a new home, a new lock on the master bedroom tops the to-do list. Even if you don’t have a physical lock, creating a sense of boundaries is key, says Sacha Mohammed—married 14 years, with 7 children. “I always made sure the children were put to bed on time when they were little so my husband and I could have our time together; the kids were also taught to always knock to announce their presence.” According to Dr. Zdrok Wilson, “each couple needs to evaluate their environment and determine the optimal conditions for great sex.” For some, a lock may be enough to create an adults-only barrier. Others may need to go further to create a sensual, relaxing haven in their bedroom by banning electronic gadgets, computers and TVs, not to mention kids and their toys!
3. They have perfected the quickie.
During certain critical periods in a marriage––particularly when you’re new parents––time and energy are both at a premium. Couples who maintain a good sex life during these challenging times have learned to make the quickie something that’s good for both of them. If you’ve avoided speedy sex sessions in the past because it takes time for you to physically get in the mood, don’t underestimate the power of the mind-body connection. Try thinking of a place or time when the sex was amazing, and use it like a meditation, taking yourself back there in your mind, says Sharon Gilchrest O’Neill, marriage and family therapist and author of A Short Guide to a Happy Marriage. And “don’t be afraid of fantasizing,” she adds, because if you can figure out how to use 20 minutes to your advantage, you can avoid dry spells in your sex life.
4. They experiment.
“Be open to different ways of expressing yourself sexually,” says Jenkins. “As with music, people tend to like a mix of the predictable and unexpected.” You have to find the right balance between being adventurous and being conventional: Don’t be so conventional that it’s boring. But don’t be so adventurous that you lose your intimacy–or level of comfort. This could mean everything from positions to the overall attitude you bring to the intimate encounter. Sexual ruts––always doing it on a certain day, at a certain time, in a certain room––can breed boredom. Something as simple as mixing it up on the living room floor or in the shower can add some much-needed spice. Or get out of the house entirely. “Many couples report that they have the best sex when they’re not at home,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “I call it ‘the dirty little motel’ syndrome.” And it doesn’t have to be limited to when you’re on vacation—hire a babysitter or drop the kids off at their grandparents’ house every once in a while so the two of you can book a room even if it’s only for a couple of hours.
5. They keep communicating.
Mohammed says that “excellent communication skills” is the top reason she and her husband continue to enjoy a satisfying sex life. “Before we got married, my husband told me we would talk about everything, and he meant it,” she says. There’s no other way to understand what your partner wants, needs or enjoys other than talking. And don’t make assumptions: You may be surprised to learn that what you thought was foolproof doesn’t really float his boat anymore, says Gilchrest O’Neill. “Save those conversations for when you’re not having sex, though in the actual moment, speak up about small adjustments your partner can make to increase enjoyment.
6. They avoid or reject excuses.
“Many of the excuses other couples use to avoid sex––like headaches, stress, tiredness or arguments––are some of the exact same reasons we choose to make sex a priority,” says Flanders. “Sex relieves pain, reduces stress, promotes better sleep and motivates us to settle our disagreements quickly.” Beware of letting excuses take on a life of their own, because, to use one example, the kids aren’t needy babies forever, and before you know it sex is so far on the back burner it’s fallen completely off the stove. “Brainstorm solutions to the things that get in the way of having sex,” suggests Gilchrest O’Neill. Tired? Go to bed earlier. Not enough time? Get creative with the hours or minutes you do have. However, if the root of your excuses isn’t fixable with practical changes (for example, if there are underlying problems or resentments), consider seeing a therapist.
7. They trust each other.
Jenkins cites her and her husband’s adventurous sex life, but is quick to add that for adventurousness to exist, it has to be preceded by trust. “Great sex is a reflection of the overall rapport and communication you have in other rooms of the house. To have trust with your spouse, you have to always try to build each other up outside the bedroom. If you say or do something critical or disrespectful to your partner during the day, why would he want to be naked and try something new with you later that evening?” she asks. Trust, comfort and ease with each other happens when you engage in active listening, says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. “You have to work on listening to your partner in an active, empathetic way and reciprocate by confiding in him, and baring your own feelings,” she says. Once you two feel like allies—not adversaries—your sex life will feel more honest and, hopefully, a lot hotter!
8. They care about their appearance and health.
“We still take pride in how we look for each other,” says Mohammed. Certainly staying in shape and paying attention to appearance helps you and your partner maintain the mood. But it’s not just about pleasing your partner’s eye; taking care of yourself makes you feel good about yourself. Not only that, but your libido is dependent on your overall health. “When you feel unhealthy, tired, ill or lacking in energy, you’re not likely to be motivated to engage in regular sexual activity,” says Dr. Zdrok Wilson. So, hit the gym, put on some makeup or dress up even if you’re not going anywhere. Do whatever makes you feel sexy and he’s guaranteed to notice.
Also Read This Great Related Articles
- 10 Reasons Why Having Sex Is Good For Your Health
- Hit the Snooze Button To Live Longer
- Use Common-Sense Lifestyle Tips for Longevity
- 5 Keys to Enhanced Sleep
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How To Improve Marriage And Slow Down Life At The Same Time
Everywhere you look, things are moving at a fast pace. Hurry up is a common phrase. When I want something, I want it right now. “What? You mean I have to wait 45 seconds for the book I just bought to download? Where’d I put the number for my Internet provider, I need a faster connection!”
The speed of life takes its toll on marriage and family as well. If your day is spent racing around from one thing to the next, it’s too easy to continue this pace when you arrive home each day.
If you feel like life is too fast, if there is no more room on the schedule for another thing to do, if the chaos of the world around you has caused you to create a life determined by others rather than yourself, and if you are desperately seeking a way to slow things down in order to breathe – then here’s a few suggestions to try.
- Take a walk. Make it a point each day to walk with your spouse and your kids. Spring is here in Texas so the weather gets better each day. Go outside and sit and observe the world around you. Walk and talk with your spouse.
- Walk or ride a bike to places you need to go. Some stores may be too far to walk, but not all. I love the times when my wife and kids and I walk or ride up to the grocery store or a restaurant for dinner. Sure it takes longer to get there, that’s the point. Enjoy the journey there together.
- Make it a point to eat outside often. There’s something about being in nature that allows you to slow down. Go to the park for a picnic, eat out in the backyard, or on the patio. Get outside.
- Find a moment alone each morning. Before you jump into the day, take some time to simply sit quietly. The longer the better. Enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. Breathe in and out, relax, meditate, pray. What better way to start each day?
- Don’t check email first thing in the morning. I struggle with this one the most. It’s such a routine to fire up the laptop first thing in the morning and check to see what’s going on with the blog, emails, etc. This allows too many other things to invade my life too soon in the day. Try waiting until 9 or 10 each morning to check email. That way the first part of the day can be spent on whatever is most important.
- Turn off all phones. At some point each evening, turn off your phones, or at the very least don’t answer them for a while and spend that time with your spouse and family. Play games, read together, talk.
- Color with crayons. This one is great if you have little ones around. There’s something magical about the feeling of coloring with crayons. Let yourself go and color. Don’t simply help your child with their coloring, color for yourself.
- Go on a media fast. We’ve been on a news fast for almost a year. Absolutely love it! Most everything reported today is negative, so why get caught up in it each evening? Don’t worry, with Google and Yahoo, you’ll still know the major things happening in the world.
I’m sure there’s more, add your ideas in the comments.
75 Ways to Show Love in Relationships
Image via Wikipedia
If you’re married or in a serious relationship, you’re no stranger to the phrase, “I love you.” You can say those 3 little words to your partner one million times, but we all know that it has to be followed up with action.
Showing love isn’t an exact science. We all speak different love languages, so you may show love in a way that your spouse doesn’t understand (and vice versa). Well, it doesn’t have to remain that way.
Happy couples’ love for each other and dedication to the relationship lead to many adjustments in the way they show love to each other. If what you’re doing isn’t working for your relationship, it may be time to change your approach. Use this list of75 ways to show love as a guide to loving your mate in a way that may save your relationship or just take it to a new level of awesomeness.
1. A kiss on the forehead
2. Uninterrupted quality time
3. A note under the pillow
4. Tell him when he looks masculine, sexy, or hot
5. Turn a regular day into an All-About-You day just for your mate
6. Breakfast served in bed
7. A romantic picnic indoors
8. An unexpected dinner cruise
9. Propose marriage on one knee
10. Don’t complain when he leaves the toilet seat up
11. A rose on the pillow
12. Tell her she’s beautiful
13. Pour on the chivalry (open doors, pull her chair out)
14. A bubble bath with rose petals and her favorite scented candles
15. Verbalize what your relationship means to you
16. Surprise her with her favorite flowers and candy
17. An “I love you because…” list
18. PDA (public displays of affection)
19. Heart shaped pancakes or cookies
20. A walk in the park together
21. Hold your beloved a little tighter and longer than usual
22. Do some of his/her chores
23. A handwritten card sprayed with your scent
24. Spoil each other
25. Renew your marriage vows
26. Be first to say “I’m sorry” after an argument
27. Personalize (i.e. engrave) gifts
28. Place an “I love you” flyer under the car’s windshield wiper
29. Send a surprise gift to his/her workplace
30. Support each other’s dreams
31. Make love slowly, passionately
32. Run his bath water
33. Give your spouse space when needed
34. Buy her feminine hygiene products (before she asks)
35. Bring him a cold beer while he watches football
36. Put a love note in her purse
37. Hold hands
38. Take showers together and wash each other’s back (or whole body)
39. Look deeply into your lover’s eyes
40. Always kiss goodbye and goodnight
41. Boast about your mate and your relationship to mutual friends
42. Arrange for a babysitter so you can have an unexpected date night
43. Say how much you love each other even if you think it’s known
44. Use cute pet names for each other
45. Rub your noses together
46. Remember to say thank you (often)
47. Excuse each other’s mistakes
48. Meditate together
49. Sleep in his t-shirt
50. Wash her hair
51. Step outside of traditional gender roles to help each other (Cook dinner for her; take the trash out for him)
52. Verbally reassure your lover
53. Take photographs as a couple
54. Give up the last piece of food on your plate
55. Write a short fairy tale using you and your mate as the characters (Once upon a time…”)
56. Listen more intently
57. Flirt with each other
58. Sing your significant other a love song
59. Get up early to help him/her get ready for work
60. Say “I adore you”
61. Watch a chic flick with her
62. Kiss your mate somewhere you never thought to kiss before (i.e. elbow, knee, toe)
63. Initiate affection (hugs, kisses, spooning)
64. Take good care of yourself so that you’re at your best for the one you love
65. A handmade gift or card
66. Write a sweet message on a fogged-up mirror so he/she will see it after exiting the shower
67. Cook your significant other’s’ favorite meal
68. Feed each other chocolate covered strawberries
69. Cuddle by the fireplace
70. Laugh and have fun with each other
71. Rub his/her feet
72. Create a scrapbook together
73. Start a hobby together
74. Dance indoors to your favorite song
75. Ask about each other’s day
Healthy relationships survive because both partners keep trying. They know the secret–that love is a verb. Loving your spouse or lover means taking action to help keep love (the feeling) alive and flourishing.
What are some of your favorite ways to show love? What are some ways you’d like your partner to show love? Do you agree that love (the action) is as important as love (the feeling).
Advice from Somewhere
- Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
- Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- When you say, “I love you,” mean it.
- When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R’s:
- Respect for self;
- Respect for others;
- Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
