51 Lifetimes Instructions
- Have a company handshake.
- Look individuals in the eye.
- Sing in the bathtub.
- Own an excellent songs.
- If in a cope with, hit first and hit challenging.
- Keep techniques.
- Never quit on anybody. Wonders occur daily.
- Always take an outstretched side.
- Be courageous. Even if you’re not, say to be. No one can tell the change.
- Whistle.
- Avoid cynical reviews.
- Choose your lifetimes companion properly. From this one choice will come 90 % of all your pleasure or agony.
- Make it an addiction to do awesome factors for individuals who will never discover out.
- Lend only those guides you never proper want to see again.
- Never deny someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
- When doing offers with ! kids, let them win.
- Give individuals a second opportunity, but not a third.
- Be enchanting.
- Become the most good and passionate individual you know.
- Loosen up. Rest. Except for unusual life-and-death issues, nothing is as essential as it first seems.
- Don’t allow the cellphone to get rid of essential periods. It’s there for our advantage, not the caller’s.
- Be an excellent loss.
- Be an excellent victorious one.
- Think twice before burdening a companion with a key.
- When someone cuddled you, let them be the first to let go.
- Be minimal. A lot was done before you were blessed.
- Keep it easy.
- Beware of the individual who has nothing to reduce.
- Don’t get rid of connects. You’ll be amazed how many periods you have to corner the same stream.
- Live your lifestyle so that your epitaph could study, No Regrets
- Be strong and courageous. When you look again on lifestyle, you’ll feel disappointed about the
- things you didn’t do more than the your you did.
- Never spend an opportunity to tell someone you really like them.
- Remember no one creates it alone. Have a thankful center and stop wasting time to recognize those who assisted you.
- Take cost of your mind-set. Don’t let someone else select it for you.
- Visit visitors when they are in hospital; you need only remain a few moments.
- Begin each day with some of the songs.
- Once in a while, take the picturesque path.
- Send a lot of Valentine’s credit cost playing cards. Indication them, ‘Someone who believes you’re wonderful.’
- Answer the cellphone with passion and power in your speech.
- Keep a observe pad and pad on your bed-side desk. Million-dollar thoughts sometimes reach at 3 a.m.
- Show regard for everyone who performs for an existing, regardless of how easy their job.
- Send your family blossoms. Think of a purpose later.
- Make a person’s day by shelling out the cost for the individual in the car behind you.
- Become a person’s idol.
- Marry only for really like.
- Count your delights.
- Compliment the food when you’re a visitor in a person’s house.
- Wave at the kids on an excellent bus.
- Remember that 80 % of the achievements in any job is according to your capability to cope with individuals.
- Don’t anticipate lifestyle to be reasonable.
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Some Short Instructions to Live Life.!
~ Give people more than they expect and do this with joy ~
~ Do not forget your favorite poem ~
~ Do not believe everything you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want ~
~ When you say “I love you”, mean ~
~ When you say “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye ~
~ Be engaged at least six months before marriage ~
~ Believe in love at first sight ~
~ Never laugh at anyone’s dreams ~
~ Love deeply and passionately. It can also happen, but it is the only way to live life to the fullest ~
~ In disagreements, fight fairly. No insults ~
~ Do not judge people by their relatives. “No kidding” ~
Talk slowly but think quickly ~
~ When someone asks you a question you do not want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?” ~
~ Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk ~
~ ~ Call your mother
~ Saying “God bless you” when someone sneezes ~
~ When you lose, do not lose the lesson ~
~ Remember the three R’s: Respect yourself, Respect others and Responsibility for all your actions ~
~ Do not let a little dispute injure a great friendship ~
~ When you realize you made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct ~
~ Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice ~
~ Marry a woman / man you love to talk. As you get older, his ability / her conversation
is as important as everyone else ~
~ Spend some ‘alone time ~
~ Open your arms to change, but do not let your values ~
~ Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer ~
~ Read more books and watch less television ~
~ Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you can enjoy again ~
~ Trust in God but lock your car ~
~ A loving atmosphere in your home is so important. Do everything you can to create a house in a quiet, smooth ~
~ In disagreements with loved ones, given the current situation. Do not wake the past ~
~ ~ Read between the lines
~ Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality ~
~ Be kind to the earth ~
~ Ore. There’s immeasurable power in the ~
~ Never interrupt when you are flattered ~
Mind your own business ~ ~
~ Do not trust a man / woman who does not close his / her eyes when they kiss ~
~ Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before ~
~ If you do a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are alive. It is the satisfaction the greatest wealth ~
~ Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of luck ~
~ Learn the rules then break some ~
~ Remember that the best relationship is one where the love between two people is greater than your need for each other ~
~ Judge your success by what you had to give up to obtain ~
~ Remember that your character is your destiny ~
~ Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon
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7 Signs She Doesn’t Love the Real You
Some women give up on finding the man who is good for them. Instead, find someone who “must do” and work to become the man they really want. Having left out and are in a relationship, when the “changer” will work. You can say “I love you” and believe it too. But is it really in love with his idealized notion of what might be no, they really are. Here are seven signs you’re dating someone like this:
First Compromise suddenly has a new definition
Do you like foreign films with subtitles, like romantic comedies. Typically, you compromise the collection and transforms the film. But change, this compromise did not last long. Soon you will hear: “But I really want to see this movie!” Or “I’m afraid that will not play next week.” Change means a compromise for what he wants … every time.
2. Your girlfriend will be “Our Lady of the constant criticism”
It ‘OK if a woman asks you to “dress up a little’” for a special occasion, but there is always some appeal changer, accessorize with it, such as: “Why do you like blue jeans all the time” It does not can have the clothes, he is fixed, though. Marc (who has the drive has been in the past), says: .. “All mines have habits were always under the threat when people are trying to focus on some rubbing on the front I, scratching the back of my head, but was trying to make me stop and when it was not …, c ‘ was always something else irritates him. “
3. If you happen to disagree, it is always wrong, and he is always right
You and your girlfriend should enjoy having conversations with each other. You may disagree on some issues, but the difference of opinion should be stimulating, not worse. However, the exchanger must be convinced that you are wrong, no matter how trivial matter. There is only one reasonable point of view – yours.
4. Your friends are barely visible when you first started seeing each other
Last, do your friends do not seem to come very often and they do not prompt you to either. They have their own opinions about your daughter, it seems that constitute changer danger. She is probably doing subtle things to make your friends uncomfortable in his presence. If so, this means that it hopes to isolate you, making its ability to manage your life so much easier.
5. Her schedule is more important than yours
Phil, who also has the gear, he recalls, “The first day was a movie I wanted to see on Saturday, but wanted to leave the results Tuesday. So, on Tuesday, it was then. He wanted to attack Early Show, I explained that I worked outside of the city that day, and I have to fight rush hour traffic to make it in time. – and to organize my schedule, but I refused to do it ‘was hard, but somehow I managed to arriving on time has come too late I hope that was our first and last day “…!
6. Trivial things become vital to your happiness
Your girlfriend tells you to stop leaving wet towels on the floor of the room is reasonable. But she insists that you order something to share, every time you go out for dinner, too? If she insists on taking his car to nice restaurants, because yours is dirty or has a visible bulge? If she complains about every little thing before and during your period, so it’s a changer. The next time she insists you order something from the menu that is not to your taste, try changing your choice of dining companions instead. You will be happier in the long run.
7. In their relationships, the support is a one way street
When she needs your support, always delivered. But anyway, it’s different when you need something from it. Support is generally subject to conditions or dramatic sighs followed long. Whatever evil changer note that this is probably because of you, and sympathy is always absent.
This article comes from match.com
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You Lie More Often Than You Think
“The individual who wants all their applause from outside has their pleasure in another’s preserving.” — Claudius Claudianus
Once, in a marriage training I was offering, I offered a research operate to each individual which essential them to make to lifestyle one complete 7 days with a wish to talk exactly what they were considering and sensation to those with whom they had any get hold of. This provided household, associates and even visitors. What I found was that many persons are considerably pushed in their capability to be genuine and obvious when it comes to saying what they really think to others. They are conflicted between what they really think, and their wish (need) to not chance the disapproval of others.
One fresh individual who came again the next 7 days and discussed how she was really able to recognize her need for endorsement and endorsement from others when she declined a demand from a buddy. She revealed that while, at first, it was unpleasant it was also the most publishing expertise she had ever known. She recognized that she had granted herself to be used hostage in every marriage she ever had been in because she was dependent to the endorsement of others. Buddha shown that connection is at the actual of all enduring. I wonder how many of us allow ourselves to expertise, being used in psychological nipple play (or better said, psychological blackmail) by others, not because of their requirements, but because of our own connection to being beloved and worry of denial or disapproval. Rob Waldo Emerson authored, “The only sin that we never reduce in each other is a distinction in viewpoint.” Bill Penn said it even more succinctly: “There can be no marriage where there is no independence. Friendship likes totally free air, and will not be fenced up in right and small enclosures.”
Are you totally able to have a distinction of viewpoint with others and communicate it without fear? Can you say no without fear? And, as well, do you supply others the same independence to say no to you without submitting them on a shame trip? If the very believed of that kind of expertise can make your pulse battle, perhaps it’s a chance to examine your capability to get to “no” others better.
Where do you start? Have becoming secure in understanding that beyond your egoic self (which grows on endorsement from others) there is within you the use of an unlimited energy performing as your “soul” specialist. While center always functions from unconditional like it never wants endorsement from others. Often periods, saying “no” can be the most caring element you can do for others and yourself. When you do your living from such a place of self-awareness you will know that if you are led to say no to someone there will be no need to you are, supply or warrant your location. Describe to them that you are not rejecting them, only their demand. Know who you are and be totally free.
In all your activities with others, keep in mind that it’s not so much what you say but how you say it. When someone can make a demand of you that does not obtain an real “yes” in your center, merely take in considerably and encourage a mindful knowledge of spirit’s location to be believed within you. Let your phrases be tv through that location and you will discover the energy and acceptance to say “no” in a way that is variety, caring and definitely apparent. Let nothing be partial in your emails currently and recognize how totally free you experience.
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Is It True Love.?
I thought a lot about love lately. What is love? What is True Romance, eternal love and how is it different from, say, a mother’s love? {Or is it different?} In my quest through the confusing web of information and misinformation in the online world, I found the following article. I’m still not convinced the subtleties of true love can be fully explained and explored in a short article, but it does not provide useful information on how experts view of love. This knowledge can in turn, makes us a quarter-lifers better able to identify true love when we see it or live it .
Eternal Love: How do you know if it’s true?
Your heart races every time he calls and your palms sweat when he’s around. You think it can be “one”. But how do you know if this is the real deal?
Dennis Ireland, author of being a man in a world of women (Remington Publications, 2000), says that love has three stages: the stage of infatuation, the bonding step and the familiar scene. Dr. Ireland, an ordained minister and doctor of metaphysics, said it helps to consider the three phases to determine if you have the real thing.
The attraction phase is when you can not wait to be with another person. This is the stage of romantic love, says Dr. Neder, the WHO warns that this is the stage where people think the “real thing”. But this phase lasts only a short period.
The second phase, said Dr. Ireland bonding phase. During this phase, you get to know the other person and you begin to plan the aspects of your life around them. If you go through this stage you finally enter the third phase, or what Dr. Holland calls “the familiar scene.”
In the familiar scene, you have created a model involving the other person. “Your lives are intertwined and merged,” said Dr. Holland. “You know how crucial the other person feels about almost everything. And interesting,” said Dr. Ireland “, you will also focus on your life, and its own management objectives. “Dr. Netherlands, it says here that most professionals believe” Real Love “begins.
The definition of “True Love”
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry”, or so the famous phrase of the film is Love Story. But when asked to define what true love is, even if the experts can stop and think. Maybe it’s because true love means different things to different people.
Dr. Neder defines true love as concern for the health, welfare and happiness of another person in a greater degree than their own health, welfare and happiness. “When you carefully consider your words, thoughts and actions, and specifically how they will benefit from this other person,” says Dr. Neder, “you’re in love.”
Christiane Northrup, MD, author of women’s bodies, women’s wisdom (Bantam, 1998) and The Wisdom of Menopause (Bantam, 2003), “tells the true love is when you care enough for someone to give them the space and time they need to become all they can be. “
Conversely, if someone says, “If ye love me, …», not love, says Dr. Northrup. According to Dr. Northrup is the” second chakra “to speak. And when the” love “comes from Here, it’s about control. True love comes from the “heart chakra” and is easily recognized as unconditional support.
Kathlyn Hendricks, Ph.D,. and Gay Hendricks, Ph.D., author of the forthcoming book, eternal love, says that true love happens when you move from the unconscious desire for voluntary recruitment. “When you hear people say,” Relationships are hard work “is an expression of commitment of the unconscious,” says Kathlyn Hendricks. Consciously developed, the doctors said. Hendricks, which means that you reveal your true self to your partner and support your partner through thick and thin.
Laurie Moore, Ph.D., tells you all the love has an open heart. “When we are together, is an open and secure at the same time,” he says. Moore believes, however, that this does not necessarily mean the person you love is your life partner.
Nine ways to tell if Your Love Is Real
- So how do you know if you’re in a lasting relationship? This is what experts say:
- You feel good. A good relationship makes you feel good about yourself.
- You look forward to spending time with your partner. You do not need to be with other people or events to avoid being alone together. You enjoy spending quality time together, even when it is calm.
- You respect your partner. You hear you brag to your partner. You say things like: If you find that you are always talking about yourself, you are not focused on your partner or a relationship “My husband is a really talented singer-songwriter.”.
- Are you interested in what your partner thinks. You ask your partner’s views on issues that are important to you. It’s OK if he or she disagrees with you.
- You accept your partner’s whims. Everyone has them. Even you! If your partner’s quirks are endearing or tolerable, which is in good shape. If it really bothers you, you should look more closely at the relationship.
- You are able to work through your problems. It is natural to have some bumps in the road to true happiness relationship. People in healthy relationships see disagreements as a chance to learn more about their partner. But if you create problems, or if you think every game is a “big one” that leads to a solution, you should probably reconsider your relationship.
- You feel safe. They are not afraid of losing her partner.
- You can not explain why you are together. Many people coordinate their lives they have to be together. But ask yourself if you are together, because you really want to be. If the answer is “yes,” then you’ll probably stay together. If “no”, you are bound to have problems – if you have not already.
- Do not compare your partner to others. There is always someone more beautiful, smarter and more athletic than her partner, but I do not care because they do not want to be with him or her.
- If you do not yet know if love will last, try this last suggestion, Dr. Moore: Make a list of what you need from someone to be happy. If the list is complete, you may have found love forever.
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The Ways to Live Life Fullest
It’s not fine. If you want to truly live life, to really experience it, to enjoy it to the fullest, instead of barely scraping by and only living a life of existence, then you need to find ways to break free from the mold and drink from life.
What follows is just a list of ideas, obvious ones mostly that you could have thought of yourself, but that I hope are useful reminders. We all need reminders sometimes. If you find this useful, print it out, and start using it. Today.
- Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren’t already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone — it doesn’t have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.
- Get outside. Don’t let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it’s raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.
- Savor food. Don’t just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.
- Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.
- Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you’ve liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?
- Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).
- Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.
- Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don’t waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It’s worth it.
- Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don’t know what to do? Read further.
- Pull away from Internet. You’re reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.
- Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you’re older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don’t check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.
- Rediscover what’s important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that’s important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.
- Eliminate everything else. What’s going on in your life that’s not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what’s important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that’s not on your short list, or minimizing it.
- Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you’ll love it. And life will be more alive.
- Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can’t do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!
- Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.
- Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.
- Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.
- When you suffer, suffer. Life isn’t all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life — really feel the pain. And when you’re done, move on, and find joy.
- Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It’s not healthy, and it’s not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly — everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail’s pace.
- Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.
- Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying.
- Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.
- Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society — take advantage of their existence while they’re still around.
- Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still — not because you’re so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve — if only because the process of improvement is life itself.
- Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.
- Take mini-retirements. Don’t leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you’re young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.
- Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.
- Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.
- Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.
- Stop reading magazines. They’re basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.
- Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.
- Stop watching the news. It’s depressing and useless. If you’re a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven’t watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn’t hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.
- Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You’ll love it.
- Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It’s a bad habit to try to control others — it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.
- Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.
- Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn’t an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it’s wonderful.
- Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: “What new thing shall I try this week?” Then be sure to do it. You don’t have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.
- Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.
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I Believe, And You….?
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I Believe…
That just because two people argue, It doesn’t mean they don’t love each other. And just because they don’t argue, It doesn’t mean they do love each other. |
 |
I Believe…
That we don’t have to change friends if We understand that friends change. |
 |
I Believe….
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you, every once in a while and you must forgive them for that. |
 |
I Believe…..
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love. |
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I Believe…
That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life. |
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I Believe….
That it’s taking me a long time To become the person I want to be, and I am still evolving. |
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I Believe…
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them. |
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I Believe….
That you can keep going long after you think you can’t. |
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I Believe….
That we are responsible for what We do, no matter how we feel. |
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I Believe…
That either you control your attitude or it controls you. |
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I Believe….
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences. |
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I Believe….
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.. |
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I Believe….
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down will be the ones to help you get back up. |
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I Believe…
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel. |
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I Believe…
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had And what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated. |
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I Believe…..
That it isn’t always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself. |
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I Believe…
That no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief. |
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I Believe….
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become. |
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I Believe…
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever. |
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I Believe….
Two people can look at the exact same Thing and see something totally different. |
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I Believe…
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you. |
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I Believe…
That even when you think you have no more to give, When a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. |
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I Believe…
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being. |
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I Believe…
That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon. |
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I Believe…
That you should fwd this to people that you believe in. I just did. |
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‘The happiest of people don’t necessarily have
the best of everything; They just make the most of everything they have. |
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15 Steps to a Balanced and Happy Marriage
The other day my husband and I were talking about our marriage and how happy we are together. Then we somehow started talking about our friends and how some of their marriages and relationships didn’t work out. It was sad to see some of them go through painful divorces or experience great disappointments in people who were considered their second halves just a while back.
It’s not a secret that rates of divorces are rising like crazy all over the world now (in the United States 50% of all marriages end in divorce and in Ukraine the rates are just a little bit lower). I am not going to go into the details of why it is happening but I would like to share my experience of a happy and balanced marriage. I hope that maybe these tips will help some couples to live happily ever after.
- Be honest with each other. I think marriage and any serious relationship starts with honesty.
My husband is a scuba diver and he has a few scuba buddies. If you do not know much about diving then I want to share one secret: it is EXTREMELY expensive (you need at least $3000 on average to get your own gear and as you become better at it you will want more expensive and more professional equipment). For the reason that I cannot figure out scuba diving is a real addiction for men and they cannot stop buying new equipment no matter how much they have already (my husband is past that point thankfully
) Back to the scuba buddies, these guys are married and they hide their new equipment from their wives. Every time they buy something new they try to sneak around and get it delivered when their wives are not home, then they hide it real good to make sure that their wives do not know how much they’ve just spent (my husband has never done anything like this, phew!). One of these guys has just divorced and now they are fighting over the custody of the children. I can’t imagine living with a person who is not honest with me, neither does my husband and I do not have much hope in marriages that are based on lies and sneaking around. - Do not only say “I love you,” show it.
My parents divorced when I was about 10 years old. I remember my dad always talking a lot about how much he loved my mom and me but he never showed it. He never helped my mom around the house, he never helped her financially to raise me after the divorce, and he never tried hard enough to be a good husband and a good dad.
It is important to show your partner your love. It can be support in a difficult situation, help around the house or with the kids, a romantic night out or a timely hug when you are feeling blue.
- In a relationship you are a team and not two solo players. When you are married you lose some of your “I” and turn it into “We.” Marriage is like a football game (without getting slammed though ). A person who does not know the rules will look at the field and see a bunch of big guys running around, jumping on each other and acting completely irrational. A person who knows the rules will see a strategy behind every move. Each player has his own role on the field and each of the players is responsible for the final score. In a marriage it is important to have your own life and your own interests, however happy couples know that all these interests are worthless if they do not benefit their team. There is a great movie called Facing the Giants that continues this analogy (this is a Christian movie). Another one of my favorites is Fireproof and I think that all couples need to watch it because it is a wonderful and inspiring movie.
- Keep romance burning in your relationship. There is nothing worse than a boring and unromantic relationship. When women start wearing hair rollers and shower caps around the house and when men spend all their time on the coach with a bottle of beer in their hands you can say that this relationship is doomed. Here are 10 ways to turn a boring relationship into a party of love and I am sure that you can think of at least 100 more.
- Be best friends. A marriage based only on friendship is hardly possible, but a marriage without friendship is doomed. What do friends do? They talk, they share their most intimate thoughts, they share their joys and sorrows, they have fun together, and they help and support each other. Can you imagine a marriage without all this? I can’t.
- Let little things slide. This tip is mostly meant for women because a lot of us (women) go crazy about little things like dirty socks around the house, a glass that was left in the wrong place or the wrong type of produce that he picked up at the grocery store. Men can think only about one thing at a time (these are words of my husband, no offense guys). When they think about a nice bottle of wine that they want to bring home for supper they forget whether you wanted Romaine lettuce or spinach. When they think about a football game they forget where they leave their glass and when they are ready to cuddle up with you under a blanket they forget where they threw their socks. Look at the big picture and enjoy a deep relationship and bond with your partner, after all nobody is perfect.
- Talk. When I say “talk” I do not mean just talking about what refrigerator you have to buy or what happened at work during the day. I mean talking about everything: about friends, about news, about your interests, about your concerns and about 100 more subjects. My husband and I lose track of time when we start talking to each other and I love this time more than anything else in the world (well, almost anything
). Talking will help you understand what is going on in the head of your spouse, what bothers him/her, it will help you to resolve and prevent conflicts and misunderstandings if they arise (the worst thing is to keep a grudge inside and let it destroy your marriage). - Be silent. Sounds contradictory to what I’ve just said, right? If you and your partner argue (it happens to the best of us) then you are likely to say something that you do not really mean. When we are upset we tend to pick the most stinging words that can hurt your partner’s trust and faith in you permanently. I find that it is much better to be silent in these situations and to let both of us cool down a little bit. After the smoke has cleared and you can think rationally again you can talk the whole situation over and most likely you will find an easy solution or explanation that will satisfy both of you.
- Be equally responsible for the family and household. This is a tip for men. A lot of men mention that marriage kills romance and that their wives become less interested in sex and fun activities that they used to enjoy before. This is really true because a lot of women get so tied up in household problems and bringing up children (not mentioning the fact that a lot of women are also working at the same time) that they do not have any energy left for anything else.
Most men still think that a woman is a 100% responsible for bringing up children and taking care of the household. How many men change about half the amount of diapers that women do? How much time do men spend with the children when the kids are in a bad mood? How often do men think about what to fix for supper or when to vacuum the house? If you are one of the men who does it all or is willing to do it all then your wife is (will be) a very happy woman (my husband is all I’ve just mentioned and even more ). How would you expect a woman to think about a romantic night when she has been changing dirty diapers all day long and her personal time was limited to 5 minutes in the shower? A marriage puts a lot of responsibilities on both a man and a woman and if you want a happy and sexy wife then you need to give her some help and some free time. - Smile and laugh together. According to a recent study people who smile a lot have lower rates of divorce. Researchers are not quite sure about the connection between smiling and happy marriages but having great time together and laughing a lot will help you become more positive about your relationship and life in general.
Here are 5 more rules that do not need any explanation in my opinion.
- Love each other
- Respect each other
- Support each other
- Understand each other
- Give to each other
A balanced and happy marriage is not a dream, it is a reality for me. I wish that more people could enjoy relationships that were satisfying and long-lasting at the same time. Do you have anything to add to this list? I am looking forward to your feedback.
Keep it balanced!
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32 Life Lessons for our Teenage Daughters
There’s something like a line of gold thread running through a man’s words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown
- Listen to the sound of your own voice
- You won’t always get what you want but never settle for less than you deserve
- Two telephone numbers you should keep in your cell phone your fathers cell number and his work number
- Make up your own mind no one should tell you what to be.
- Don’t just be different dream BIG and give it 100%.
- A man who respects your mind and body is a guy worth dating
- Find your life’s passion now find a charity and donate to it
- Use a condom. Enough said!
- Make positive choices
- Turn off the lights and shut off the water when you’re not using either
- Be a good listener and pay attention to the details
- Ask yourself from time to time what’s your Life plan?
- Take the easy way out. Never!
- Lend money to no one if they need it give it as a gift. If you don’t have it to give then you don’t have it.
- “Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes”
- Being smart and pretty is not enough. Develop your character
- Say thank you when someone pays you a compliment.
- Less is more
- If a guy asks you out on a date he should pick up the bill, if it’s your idea return the favor, if you’re with a gentleman rules not apply
- Fall down, cry, make mistakes and when its all over get back up
- It’s not your job to change anyone so don’t make it your profession
- Believe that all things are possible even when the odds are against you
- Peer pressure is adopting values you don’t believe in
- You don’t have to be a chef but learn to cook a couple of good meals
- Be careful not to fall in love with the idea of love
- The grass is not always greener on the other side so focus on making grass greener from where you stand
- Friends come and go those who stay remember them
- Most people don’t discover what they want until its too late
- Let go of trying to be perfect because it’s impossible
- Make a decision and follow through
- Be honest! You’re travelling a dangerous road when you start to lie to yourself
- If you can’t think go for a walk.
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20 Tasty Aphrodisiacs To Put Sizzle In Your Sex Life
If you’ve got sex on the brain but your body’s feeling unsexy, put away the blue pill! You don’t need Viagra, you need food. (Just not potato chips.) Sexual health and energy is synonymous with a healthy, energized you. An active lifestyle, balanced diet and self-confidence are the best ways to get the sexual charge you need – but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few foods out there that can give you that extra…boost you’re looking for.
Maca
This Andean root is the first food that comes to mind when I think of sexual health and stamina. Just me? It’s been commonly used in Peru since the times of the Inca to increase strength, energy and libido. Modern foodies consider it a superfood, and with good reason. Maca is excellent for balancing hormones and makes a tasty addition to deserts and smoothies.
Cacao
Always a woman’s favorite. Real dark chocolate (we’re not talking See’s Candies here!) with a high cacao content contains natural stimulants and wellbeing chemicals, plus plenty of magnesium which is good for the heart and women’s libido. A healthy heart means better circulation, and that means better sex drive. Melt it, pour it, lick it…
Chiles
You can’t travel in Latin American without hearing a hot and spicy joke about the size of a man’s chile. And if you’re a fan of picante foods, you know how they can make you a bit sweaty and excitable. Blame it on the capsaicin, the substance in hot peppers which releases endorphins, stimulates nerve endings and increases heart rate.
Cardamom
This deliciously exotic little spice has a reputation in its home country of India for being an aphrodisiac. I just think it’s got a wonderful, sensual taste. But there may be some science behind it too: cardamom is high in cineole, which stimulates the nervous system.
Ginger
The spicy taste of hot, fresh ginger tea will heat your body up, make your heart race and increase the heat. What more do you need to get it going?
Pumpkin Seeds
High in zinc, which is needed for testosterone production, pumpkin seeds are essential for the libido in both men and women. Toast some up, pop in a movie, oh, forget the movie…
Oysters
Cold, slimy: I always wondered why oysters have such a reputation as an aphrodisiac food. Some say it’s the shape, but I say it’s the zinc, baby.
Hemp
Whether you prefer the seed, the milk, or the oil, hemp is high in the Essential Fatty Acids needed to help balance hormones for a better libido. Whip up a hemp milk latte and cozy up to your sweetie for some kisses to get things going.
Almonds
Best when eaten raw, almonds are high in libido-boosting vitamin E. A very sensible sex-boosting insurance policy. Eat daily.
Garlic
This one surprised me, because we all know how unattractive it is to be around someone who reeks of garlic. But take note, allicin improves blood flow to the sexual organs, so just make sure you and your partner have garlic in your meal together and you won’t mind the way the other smells. You have to admit, for garlic, that’s a sexy picture.
Bananas
This suggestively shaped fruit regulates blood pressure, and you’d do well to eat one a day, because there’s nothing quite like excessively high blood pressure (also known as hypertension) to cause erectile dysfunction.
Pomegranate Juice
A very sensual juice and luscious juice (surely Nigella Lawson would approve), many think that pomegranate’s high antioxidant content keeps free radicals from interfering with circulation. Which would have apositive effect on erectile dysfunction.
Goji Berries
These superfood berries are considered a potent sexual tonic in Asia. They improve mood and well being and increase testosterone production. They’re tart, complex and intriguing – fittingly.
Celery
Granted, celery is not the sexiest food, but it does contains andresterone, which is the hormone that gives men a subtle smell that drives women wild. I’m talking that t-shirt smell, ladies. (Men: we like this.)
Ginseng
This high energy root normalizes hormones levels in both men and women and it’s been used for centuries by the Chinese to increase stamina and desire.
Ginkgo Biloba
Sort of a wonder herb touted for many purposes, ginkgo can be used to increase sexual energy and regulate blood circulation.
Guava
High in vitamin C, guava is great for the antioxidants. Kiwi and berries are high in vitamin C too, which keeps the sexual glands running smoothly. There’s nothing like sharing a cool fruit salad on a hot summer’s day”¦
Wild Salmon
Another great source of Essential Fatty Acids. Try it cold with creme fraiche, crackers, wine and a little hand-feeding.
Avocado
Such an amazing food anyway, avocados are high in EFA’s and B-vitamins for hormone balance, and folic acid which is good for the heart and gives you energy.
Leafy Greens
Eat your salads, ladies, dark leafy greens help your liver metabolize estrogen, and create a good balance of this hormone essential for healthy female sexuality. Sure, they don’t look sexy, but they’ll make you feel amazing.
Of course, there’s no one food that’s going to magically improve your sex life. The key is to avoid cigarettes and excessive alcohol and maintain a state of general health and wellbeing. You can’t expect to sit on your tuckus all day snacking on potato chips and be an excellent lover!
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10 Marriage Rules You Should Break
The two of you should do everything together; work out every disagreement (without actuallyfighting); spend every night in the same bed; and never, ever be bored. Say what?! These and other so-called “rules” for marriage need some serious debunking. And it’s not just because rules your mother may have passed on are outdated; some may be downright damaging. In fact, “breaking some marriage ‘rules’ may be the best thing you can do for your relationship,” says Barbara Bartlein, RN, MSW, psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway? Here are 10 rules you can break with confidence.
1. Never go to bed angry.
Where did this one come from? Turns out, it may go as far back as the Bible, which advises not letting the sun go down on your anger. But trying to work through a problem when you’re tired and stressed won’t get you anywhere, says Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD,psychologist
and author of A Happy You: Your Ultimate Prescription for Happiness. “Agree to disagree for now, and to revisit the issue when you’re rested.”
2. Always be 100% honest.
In marriage, no-holds-barred honesty is not always the best policy. For example, “you don’t need to share details of past relationships,” says Bartlein. “That invites comparisons, and when you compare, someone comes up short.” The bottom line: You need to be polite and caring when it comes to your partner’s feelings.
3. Never vacation without each other.
The received wisdom here is that if you have time off from your jobs and lives, you should naturally prefer to spend it together. One problem with this rule is that you and your spouse may not have the same definition of a great getaway (you like to ski, he’s a beach bum). The other danger, says Dr. Lombardo, is the belief “that you have to be each other’s everything, and that’s just not realistic.” Sometimes, you need a spa weekend, and he may want to go camping (or vice versa). Just be sure that you don’t alwaystake off without each other.
4. If you fight, you’re headed for divorce.
Actually, says Bartlein, research shows that couples who neverfight—assuming that means they’re holding back to avoid conflict—are more likely to split. You need to find ways to fight healthily and productively (without blaming, name-calling and the like), but that said, being committed to respectfully airing out conflicts is a far better rule than “keep your mouth shut.”
5. Once you have children, they come first.
“So often, I see couples who have put their relationship on hold in order to be good parents,” says Dr. Lombardo. But those couples, she says, have it exactly backward. Making your relationship top priority is better not just for you, but for your children, who need to see you in charge and who feel safer and more secure with parents who have a loving relationship. “Create couple-only time during which you do not discuss bills or children, where you do fun activities and enjoy each other’s company.” The kids’ll be all right.
6. You should never sleep in separate beds.
Um, snore much? It’s a myth that couples always sleep better and more cozily together than apart. One partner may be a toss-and-turner, or one may hit the hay early while the other keeps a reading light burning till the wee hours. So if one of you occasionally decamps to the guest room, don’t sweat it. “Getting a good night’s sleep is crucial to the health of your mind, body andmarriage,” says Dr. Lombardo. Just be sure a separate-bed habit isn’t about avoiding sex or physical intimacy.
7. Partners should sync up their hobbies.
Though spending every free moment you have training for a marathon while your spouse works on his classic car isn’t good for your marriage, neither is subscribing to the notion you should quit doing what you love just because your husband doesn’t love the same things. Giving up your passions is akin to forgoing your independence, and “without independence in a marriage people feel trapped,” says Bartlein. Pursue your separate interests andfind activities you both enjoy.
8. If there’s no spark, you’re doomed.
Many married couples understand intellectually that they won’t always experience that I’ve-been-drugged-by-love feeling in a long-term relationship. “But many still believe that when the spark dies out, it means they’re in the wrong relationship, and seek something new,” says Bartlein. Long-term relationships survive on commitment and trust, out of which grows love. The mistake here is to believe that you can live forever on fireworks, or even just love, alone.
9. Boring is bad.
The problem with this so-called rule, says Bartlein, is when couples confuse a calm, predictable union with a bad one. A drama-filled relationship may feel exciting, but in the long run it’s not likely to be healthy. Isn’t it better, she says, to “boringly” know where your spouse is every night than to be “excited” by constant ups and downs? “Better to have a safe, relaxed, ‘boring’ life together in the everyday. You can always inject excitement with vacations and activities.”
10. You should have sex with your partner to make him/her happy.
This may be a particular problem for women, especially new mothers. “Sex becomes yet another item on your to-do list, and you think you have to do it for the sake of your marriage, and the happiness of your spouse,” says Dr. Lombardo. While neither of those reasons is wrong, they shouldn’t be the only reasons. “Sex is for both of you.”
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7 Ways To Keep Your brain Sharper
While most exercise is focused on strengthening and improving your physical body and muscles, there is very little focus on keeping your brain sharp and healthy. This is interesting because the brain is obviously the most important organ in your body, not only controlling the muscles people spend hours working to build up, but also your memory, thought process, attitude, etc. Don’t get me wrong, abs are great, but the brain needs to be supplemented too. It is far more important to your overall well-being. Here are the best exercises/activities that you can do to keep your brain in tip-top condition:
1. Challenge Your Brain
The majority of people are stuck in ruts. They go to the same job everyday, hang out with the same friends and eat at the same places. While that may feel safe, it’s not the most stimulating lifestyle for your brain. Those synapses have been built up enough, so try something that you do NOT know how to do! Buy a model car kit, master the art of sudoku or crosswords, or go pick up another major at your nearest college. The point is you need to be learning new things to keep your brain honest. Form new synapses by forcing your mind to work in ways it has not worked before. Just like physical workouts, doing too much of the same exercise will eventually give no results. Switch it up!
2. Brain-Food
Eat:
- Sources of Omega-3 fatty acids, mainly fatty fish and grass-fed animals. Omega-3′s are instrumental in making your brain membranes fluid, allowing signals to be passed back and forth. Obviously communication is pretty important in the brain, so keep those signals flowing!
- Enough food everyday! Your brain needs energy too, not just your muscles.
Do Not Eat:
- Too much cholesterol, high amounts are linked to brain diseases like Alzheimers.
- Too much fat, sugar, etc. All of that bad stuff is linked to brain health in addition to overall bodily health! System-wide diseases like hypertension, Type-II Diabetes and obesity have been linked to loss in cognitive ability and memory loss. If it’s not good for your physique, it’s probably not good for your brain either.
3. Sleep Well
R.E.M. sleep is critical for the for being able to retain information and maintaining learning ability. Sleep is the time when your brain resets, builds new synapses and brain cells and rids itself of the by-products of normal use. Sleep deprivation leaves you feeling not only tired, but less able to perform simple to advanced cognitive functions. So make sure you are getting that healthy minimum of 6, if not 8 hours of sleep per night. If that’s impossible, take a short nap during the day. Naps can do a lot more than you think, so use the info below to decide how long of a nap you need:
2-5 Minute – Reduces sleepiness
5-20 Minute – Increases alertness, stamina and cognitive performace.
20-30 Minute – Perks of the 2-20 minute nap, plus helps with muscle memory and clears the brain of information build-up, hence improving memory ability.
50-90 Minute – This get’s into the REM sleep cycle, so it helps with memory consolidation and virtually everything else. REM sleep is the one cycle that we as humans need to live without going. Alternate sleep cycles adjust the body to going directly into REM sleep, skipping out on the other non-important cycles. This nap will leave you a little groggy but will reset everything and restore complete cognitive power unless you have a massive REM sleep debt built up already.
4. Remember Stuff!
When it comes to memory, the use it or lose it rule applies. And considering your cognitive ability is relatively useless if you cannnot remember what you learned yesterday, you should probably start using it. Try pulling out an old photo album and recollecting entire days or events related to the photos you see. Really try to recall even the most insignificant of details; this should be a workout for your brain. Even try to remember a full conversation that you had yesterday, anything that get’s your memory going. If you’re having a lot of trouble with even those exercises, start a journal to get yourself to remember at the end of each day. That will build you up immediately so that you can start remembering less recent events.
5. Relax Regularly
With constant activity, overthinking and stress, your brain can get very over-loaded with a bunch of thought that just does not need to be there. More importantly, stress increases the chances of dimentia and Alzhiemers. Stress relseases the fight-or-flight hormones into your brain, reducintg your ability to think clearly. So throw out the insticts and relax instead: Take 15-30 minutes during the day and just sit in silence. Eyes open or closed, breath deeply for a little bit and try to empty your mind. Think about nothing. Then meditate, pray, do yoga, or just sit there. Whatever suits you. Just get that relaxation break in during the day so you can clear your mind.
6. Concentration
The ability to concentrate is obviously huge in terms of cognitive ability. You will dramatically increase your ability to think clearly and efficiently if you are able to concentrate better. So:
1. Practice! While you are relaxing, concentrate on something. One thing that you want or a problem that needs to be solved. Keep your mind on that topic for the length of your relaxation period. This is much more difficult than it sounds so just keep doing it. If you space out, shake your head and go back to concentrating!
2. Realize when you are distracted and what is causing it. If it is something that is weighing on you, address it right there and then! If you keep getting distracted, you will just be inefficient at whatever you are consciously trying to accomplish.
7. Alcohol is a poison, you know…
Don’t go overboard. Alcohol is just bad for the brain in large amounts. Check out this page which lists a seemingly infinite amount of brain functions that alcohol abuse impairs. Memory gets hit pretty hard in addition to overall cognitive ability. If you feel the need to intoxicated, try other safer drugs (like marijuana) instead of the “devil’s juice”.
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Simplify Your Life and Mind
Lives are so busy there is little time to just sit back and enjoy it. Unless one goes looking for a way to find peace and quite, it definitely isn’t going to jump out and offer itself to you. Not only are our lives busy with activity, but so is the mind and we constantly let it have a landslide of thoughts that stir up emotions, stress and active thinking that keeps you distant from the here and now with out being able to truly experience any one moment in the mind.
I wanted to share some ways that anyone can simplify life and live more in the now.
Simplify Your Life
- Ignore distractions and take advantage of how they often go away on their own.
- Don’t answer your phone every time it rings, stay in the moment of whatever you are doing and wait for a message
- Turn off your computer, your internet access on your computer or at least your popup notifiers (like email / IM) whenever you can
- Turn off your cell phone, don’t carry it constantly or even better, don’t have one! (This is my favorite way to simplify, I don’t have one myself)
- Move or buy a house close to work, to avoid driving
- Ride your bike or walk to commute and get around
- Give away things you no longer use or need
- Just buy less stuff
- Buy a smaller house than what you think you need (less space is more)
- Spend time reading, its a wonderful way to escape the complexities of each day
- De-clutter your living space
- Get out into nature
- Don’t rely on technology gadgets for everything, pen and paper work fine for more than people dare admit nowadays!
- Take up a creative hobby. Music, art, writing and building things helps you focus on just one thing.
- Finish what you start before switching tasks. One thing at a time
- Smile at and say hello to strangers
- Do some simple generous deed
Simplify Your Mind
People have an amazing ability to make things as simple or complex as we want and no matter what the task is, you can always make it simpler or more complicated. This is evident in many ways, many included in the list above. As a product development manager, I see this everyday in my workplace as we approach problems and plan software products. There is both a simple and complicated approach to everything. I’ve experience both and have learned that the complicated approach used to give me a sense of satisfaction that at the time, I thought was valuable and better than a simple solution. Over the years however, I’ve learned to drastically simplify things from a development perspective and now see evidence everyday of how it is better. All the complexities we build into things (as well as in our lives) causes more complexities as new things occur and makes change much more difficult. Think of it this way, changing your mind for some simple decision is easy. Changing your mind over something complicate that affects many other things however is far more difficult. This is true in everything we do and the complexities of life and in your mind prevent you from making change and even from learning. Look for a simple solution, a simple action, anything that’s easy to just do, right now.
How To Improve Marriage And Slow Down Life At The Same Time
Everywhere you look, things are moving at a fast pace. Hurry up is a common phrase. When I want something, I want it right now. “What? You mean I have to wait 45 seconds for the book I just bought to download? Where’d I put the number for my Internet provider, I need a faster connection!”
The speed of life takes its toll on marriage and family as well. If your day is spent racing around from one thing to the next, it’s too easy to continue this pace when you arrive home each day.
If you feel like life is too fast, if there is no more room on the schedule for another thing to do, if the chaos of the world around you has caused you to create a life determined by others rather than yourself, and if you are desperately seeking a way to slow things down in order to breathe – then here’s a few suggestions to try.
- Take a walk. Make it a point each day to walk with your spouse and your kids. Spring is here in Texas so the weather gets better each day. Go outside and sit and observe the world around you. Walk and talk with your spouse.
- Walk or ride a bike to places you need to go. Some stores may be too far to walk, but not all. I love the times when my wife and kids and I walk or ride up to the grocery store or a restaurant for dinner. Sure it takes longer to get there, that’s the point. Enjoy the journey there together.
- Make it a point to eat outside often. There’s something about being in nature that allows you to slow down. Go to the park for a picnic, eat out in the backyard, or on the patio. Get outside.
- Find a moment alone each morning. Before you jump into the day, take some time to simply sit quietly. The longer the better. Enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. Breathe in and out, relax, meditate, pray. What better way to start each day?
- Don’t check email first thing in the morning. I struggle with this one the most. It’s such a routine to fire up the laptop first thing in the morning and check to see what’s going on with the blog, emails, etc. This allows too many other things to invade my life too soon in the day. Try waiting until 9 or 10 each morning to check email. That way the first part of the day can be spent on whatever is most important.
- Turn off all phones. At some point each evening, turn off your phones, or at the very least don’t answer them for a while and spend that time with your spouse and family. Play games, read together, talk.
- Color with crayons. This one is great if you have little ones around. There’s something magical about the feeling of coloring with crayons. Let yourself go and color. Don’t simply help your child with their coloring, color for yourself.
- Go on a media fast. We’ve been on a news fast for almost a year. Absolutely love it! Most everything reported today is negative, so why get caught up in it each evening? Don’t worry, with Google and Yahoo, you’ll still know the major things happening in the world.
I’m sure there’s more, add your ideas in the comments.
How to Find Your Passion (s) in 15 minutes
It’s common advice. It’s so common as to become redundant. Follow your passion, and everything else will fall into place. You might have heard it at your college graduation, you’ve probably heard it from millionaires and billionaires, and your guidance counselor might have clued you in on this little gem of wisdom.
When you hear this piece of the advice, if you haven’t already found your passion, then the first thing that pops into your mind is “well that’s cool, but how the hell do I find my passion!? Maybe I don’t even have a passion. OMG I’m doomed”
I’m here to tell you that finding your passion isn’t going to take you years of soul searching, if you just make one key distinction that most people have yet to understand, and then start narrowing down your options.
Here’s where most people go wrong.
For some reason, people think that their passion should be something they should stumble upon after trekking through the Peruvian jungle, drinking ayahuasca and experiencing a brief moment of enlightenment and realization, informing them of their purpose here on this earth.
You see, all a passion is, is a more deep form of interest. Let’s say you’ve taken a liking to a particular woman or man. When you first start liking them or being attracted to them, unless your an idiot, you don’t start telling people how passionate you are for them. You are interested. Once you get into a relationship with them and start really getting to know them you can thendevelop a passion for them.
It’s the same way with everything. Let’s say you want to find a passion to pursue as a career. Let’s say your favorite things to do are listen to music, watch movies, and play golf.
If you just, like most people, listen to your favorite bands and go to the occasional concert, your at the level of interest. If however you start to go to all the shows in the area to the point where perhaps you could review bands for a newspaper, or start to really learn a musical instrument, or start developing your vocal skills, your starting to move toward the level of passion. If you start to watch as many movies as Siskel and Ebert and writing reviews about them, or you start getting into creating your own scripts or directing your own short films, you’ll start developing a passion for movies. If you start going to the golf course everyday and reading books about how to improve your swing, spending lots of money on clubs etc. your starting to develop a passion for golf.
So now let’s skip straight to the finding your passion part.
Here’s what you need to do. If your like most people, you could probably list 20 to thousands of interests you have. I want you to quickly write down up to 100 interests you have immediately. If you start running out of interests to write down without thinking hard, stop.
Now take however many interests you have written down and narrow those down to your top 20 interests. Imagine that your writing your interests down on a dating site and you just want to put down the interests that say something about who you are and are close to your heart.
Now take those 20 interests and narrow them down to the top three interests that you wouldn’t mind, or wouldn’t hate to be immersed in the entire day. I mean hardcore immersed in for the entire day, doing nothing else.
Those three interest are potential passions. To find the best passion to start developing, use your intuition. Or you can pick randomly if you really can’t decide. Or you can go to Google Adwords Keyword Tool and find the one that gets the most searches per month. That’s the passion that the general market has the most interest in, and thus has the most chance of being highly profitable. However keep in mind that if you want it to be easier for you to beat the competition than you might want your passion to be in something that has less competition so check out the google adwords competition. I believe though that if your passion is strong enough you can destroy 95% of the competition in any field.
Now that you’ve discovered the interest of yours with the most POP (Potential Of Passion) all you have to do is turn your interest into a passion.
How do you do that? It’s simple. Anything that you fully immerse yourself in and learn enough about you can start to develop a passion for. Buy the 3 or 4 most highly reviewed books on your new POP interest. Take a class on it. Read about it obsessively. Start taking action on the interest. Since I don’t know what your POP will be, I can’t define what those actions should be, but you can figure it out. Some of you won’t even be willing to take enough action to figure out what actions you should take – but such is life.
Don’t be one of those losers who keeps on reading and reading good advice but never take a bit of action on any of it.
Advice from Somewhere
- Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
- Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
- Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
- When you say, “I love you,” mean it.
- When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye.
- Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
- Believe in love at first sight.
- Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.
- Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.
10. In disagreements, fight fairly. Please No name calling.
11. Don’t judge people by their relatives.
12. Talk slowly but think quickly.
13. When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, “Why do you want to know?”
14. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
15. Say “bless you” when you hear someone sneeze.
16. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
17. Remember the three R’s:
- Respect for self;
- Respect for others;
- Responsibility for all your actions.
18. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
19. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
20. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
21. Spend some time alone.
75 Lessons that MUST be Learned in Relationships
- If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay. - Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
- If you have ANY doubt in your mind about a man’s character, leave him alone.
- Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
- Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
- Don’t force an attraction.
- Slower is better.
- Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
- If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no you can’t “be friends.” A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
- Have faith in God regarding your relationship, but don’t let faith make you stupid. God does things decent and in order.
- Don’t settle.
- If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
- If he keeps changing his mind about the relationship–take that as a BIG sign that he is unstable. Do you really want to be with a man like that?
- Don’t stay because you think “it will get better.” You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
- Honorable men take care of their business and aren’t involved in a whole lot of mess.
- The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
- There’s only one ‘reason’ a man dumps you; he doesn’t want you.
- Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
- You really do have to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince.
- Always put yourself and your happiness first.
- Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
- Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
- Like from the show Sex and the City, if he doesn’t call, he just isn’t that interested.
- Be honest and upfront.
- Know when to cut the cord, don’t be strung along.
- Don’t fall for the “I’m confused role”. Remove yourself from the situation to let him figure things out (but don’t wait for him, move on).
- If you want to have a clue as to how he will treat you, watch how he treats the WOMEN in his family (not just mom).
- There’s more than physical abuse, there’s emotional and mental abuse. If he causes any of them…flee.
- You cannot change a man’s behaviors. Change comes from within.
- Don’t let him place rules on you that he is not willing to follow himself — double-standard.
- Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are…even if he has more education or in a better job.
- Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
- Demand respect and if he can’t give it, he can’t have you!
- Don’t compete with other woman, but be aware that men are attracted to what they see.
- If you think he is cheating, he probably is. Confront him right away and if you feel he’s lying, let him go.
- Actions speak louder than words.
- Never let a man define who you are.
- Never rely on a man for compliments, look to yourself for that.
- Never borrow someone else’s man.
- If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
- Just because he says he loves you, doesn’t mean that he won’t hurt you and it doesn’t mean that you are meant to be with him.
- To use painful hard-won wisdom — ‘get it right’ the next time.
- Know that you deserve to be the number one person in the life of the No.1 person in your life.
- Love is a verb …
- Learn to give up your lifelong task of trying to make someone unavailable-available, someone ungiving-giving, and someone unloving-loving.
- A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
- All men are NOT dogs.
- You should not be the one doing all the bending…compromise is a two way street.
- If you don’t love self…you can’t love anyone else.
- You cannot mend someone else’s broken heart.
- You need time to heal between relationships…there is nothing cute about baggage…deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
- You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you…a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals…look for someone complementary…not supplementary.
- Dating is fun…even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
- NEVER give more in a relationship than you are getting out of it.
- Never become your man’s “therapist”.
- When actions and words conflict, believe the actions. Respond to the actions.
- A real healthy relationship requires two people. One person can end it – but it takes two to make it work.
- Don’t fall for the “I’m not the loving type”…when a man loves you there is nothing in this world (within reason) that he wouldn’t do for you.
- Make him miss you sometimes…when a man always know where you are, and you’re always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
- Give him his space…let him go out with his boys, don’t pressure him to spend time with you, You cant force a man to hang out with you.
- If you wouldn’t allow your daughter to be with him you shouldn’t.
- Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
- Never move into his mother’s house.
- Provide financially for yourself and don’t depend on anyone.
- Never co-sign for a man.
- Never believe you have the perfect guy and he is so innocent.
- Never spoil your man; let him spoil you.
- Never let a man mess up your credit.
- When it’s time to let go; let go.
- Good men should be treated like good men.
- Don’t play games.
- Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
- Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
- Compatibility in terms of educational attainment, values, beliefs, personal and career goals, and socioeconomic status, are important.
- Never date a guy who wears color contact lens.
